Author: admin

Explain!

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A woman has been married to her husband for ten years, and for all those ten years her husband insisted on making love in the dark. No matter how much she asked him, he would never turn the lights on.

One night she grew tired of this and turned on the light while they were making love and saw that he was using a dildo on her.

She says: “Honey, how could you do this! All this time you’ve never told me. Explain yourself immediately!!”

The husband says: “OK, I’ll explain, but first you have to explain the kids.”

Juan P�rez, mi programador asistente,

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Juan P�rez, mi programador asistente, siempre puede ser encontrado
trabajando duro en su cub�culo. Juan labora sin descanso, sin andar
gastando el tiempo hablando con sus colegas. Juan nunca
lo piensa dos veces para ayudar a sus compa�eros, y siempre
termina sus tareas a tiempo. Frecuentemente, Juan toma extremas
medidas para completar su trabajo, a veces salt�ndose las
pausas en el trabajo. Juan es un individuo que no tiene nada de
vanidad a pesar de sus altos logros y profundos
conocimientos en su campo. Creo firmemente que Juan puede ser
clasificado como de gran calibre, del tipo que no puede ser
expulsado. Por todo ello, recomiendo que Juan sea
promovido a un puesto ejecutivo, y para tal efecto un ascenso ser�
ejecutado tan pronto como sea posible.

Atentamente
El L�der de Proyecto

SIGUE LEYENDO…

Poco tiempo despu�s, el departamento de Recursos Humanos recibi� el siguiento memo del L�der de Proyecto:

Lo siento, pero ese idiota estaba leyendo sobre mis hombros cuando escrib� el reporte que le mand� hoy por la ma�ana. Por favor lea s�lo las l�neas nones para conocer mi verdadera opini�n.

Atentamente,
El L�der de Proyecto.

Air Heads

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Poor Jim is killed in a Boston automobile accident, but happily he goes to heaven where he gets to meet God and asks God if he can ask him a few questions.”Sure. Go right ahead,” says the Almighty.”OK,” Jim says, “Why did you make women so pretty?””So you would like them,” God replies.”All right then,” Jim nods, “but come you made them so nice and soft and curvey?””So you would LOVE them,” God replies.Jim ponders a moment and then asks, “But why did you make them such air heads?”God replies, “So THEY would love YOU!”

The Top 16 Desperate Tourism Slogans

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16> Come for the Squalor, Stay for the Stonings! 15> We Put the Host in Hostage 14> Okay, What If We *Were* the Last Place on Earth? Huh? What THEN, Smart Boy?!? 13> Come Join the Search for Our Weapons of Mass Destruction! 12> As Seen on the Discovery Channel’s Shark Week 11> Genital Mutilation — With a Smile! 10> So Much Fun, We Can’t Even Get Your Soldiers to Leave! 9> Why Pay Exorbitant Spa Prices? Try Our Montezuma Weight-Loss Plan! 8> Cannibalism, Schmannibalism 7> For Your Convenience, Our Syphilitic, Toothless, Mentally Unstable Prostitutes Now Accept Visa! 6> Hey, Disneyland’s Not the Only Place in the World With Giant Rodents 5> Become Nebraska’s 1000th Tourist and We’ll Put You on Our State Quarter! 4> That Smell? Why, It’s Old-World Charm!! 3> Yes, That’s Dog in the Stew, But It’s *Free Range* Dog 2> Our Customs Officers Have Small, Girlish Hands 1> Ethnically Cleansed for Your Protection [ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]

Police pulling her over

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There was a women with blond hair, and she was driving her husbands truck.A while after she got on the road she heard police sirens so she pulled over.She said,”whats the problem officer?”

“Maam do you know that you’re swirving all over the road?”

“ya i know there is this little tre in front of me and i can’t go around it”

the officer said”that’s an air freshener.

Tourist Visas

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I was once with a tour group visiting the UK. As we filed past the immigration officer (at Heathrow), each one showed his passport, was asked why (s)he was visiting [“Well sir, I’m with this group that is visiting your lovely …”], and got a one-week tourist visa stamp. When it was my turn, I said I was going to topple the oppressive government and the entire class system, teach everyone to cook like the French, and free the masses from their servitude, but since I didn’t want to stay and experience the ensuing chaos, I might as well get a tourist visa too.He said, “Normally I’d tell you such a job is rather a large undertaking, and stamp you for two weeks, but I suspect you’re kidding,” and gave me the same as the rest.

Snail visits bar

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The landlord of a pub, is just locking up, when there’s a ring on the doorbell.

He opens the door, and there’s a snail sitting there. “What do you want?” asks the landlord.

The snail replies that he wants a drink.

“Go away, we’re closed, and we don’t serve snails anyway”.

The snail pleads and pleads with the barman to give it a drink, at which the landlord gets fed up, kicks the snail and slams the door.

….. Exactly one year later, he’s locking up again, and there’s a ring at the doorbell. The landlord opens the door, and looks down to see a snail sitting there. “What do you want” says the landlord.

“What did you do that for” says the snail.

Canada aids the US

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It was announced today that Canada is now prepared to help the United States in its war against terrorism.

They have promised to commit 2 of their largest battleships, 6000 armed troops, and 60 fighter jets.

However, after the exchange rate, that comes down to a canoe, 2 Mounties, and a flying squirrel.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown