�It was the dizziest semester of my life. I would do it again, if I could.
But my doctor says it would kill me!�
-Brad Piermont
�It was sooooo�.. quick, where�s the bathroom?�
-Sharon McCann
�I remember getting off the plane and�well, that�s about it.�
-Anonymous
Author: admin
Q: How many freelance
Q: How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?A: One; he designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one and screw itself in.
Knock KnockWho’s there?Vanessa!Vanessa who?Vanessa bus
Knock KnockWho’s there?Vanessa!Vanessa who?Vanessa bus be along in a minute!
Golf Victory
There was a guy so addicted to golf that all he did is go out on the links every single day. He had ambitions of making it to the Pros, so he took his game very seriously. One windy day while playing in the finals of a a tournament, the guy was in contention, so he played every shot with utmost care and concentration. After all the scores were submitted, he was declared the winner of the tournament. He went home to his wife with the trophy and some small cash prize. He kept repeating his round over dinner. The wife, who is not the least bit interested in golf, got up and went to bed early. The guy follows after a few hours, still high on his golf championship. At around two in the morning, the wife jumps up and screams at her husband, who also gets startled and wakes up. “What happened? Why are you screaming?” the guy asked his wife. “Why wouldn’t I shout? You just pulled a patch of hair from my privates and threw it up in the air!”
Goebel’s Law Of Product Introductions:
Goebel’s Law Of Product Introductions: A future product release date does not say when a product will be introduced. All it says it that you don’t have a chance of seeing it before that time.
PRIESTS ON VACATION
Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make
this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as
clergy.
As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some
really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, and etc.
The next morning they went to the beach, dressed in their “tourist” garb and
were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery
when a “drop dead gorgeous” blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight
towards them. They couldn’t help but stare and when she passed them, she smiled
and said, “Good morning, Father” – “Good morning, Father,” nodding and
addressing each of them individually, then passed on by.
They were both stunned. How in the world did she recognize them as priests?
The next day they went back to the store, bought even more outrageous
outfits-these were so loud, you could hear them before you even saw them-and
again settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine, etc.
After a while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a string bikini this time,
came walking toward them again. (They were glad they had sunglasses, because
their eyes were about to pop out of their heads.)
Again, she approached them and greeted them individually: “Good morning,
Father,” “Good morning Father,” and started to walk away.
One of the priests couldn’t stand it and said. “Just a minute, young lady.
Yes, we are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did
YOU know?”
“Oh, Father, don’t you recognize me? I’m Sister Angela!”
How many Bard students does it take to change…
How many Bard students does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change the bulb, and two to figure out how to get high off
the old one.
Long, hard…
What is long, hard, and filled with seamen?
A submarine.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
camera
Polaroid has a new camera they call a hemaroid , takes shitty pictures and anyone can operate it.
Bush Bumper Stickers
Even though it’s all over, the bumper stickers are still on the cars… So I figured we might as well post ’em to jokindex.com!
1. Bush/Cheney ’04: Four More Wars!
2. BU_ _SH_ _!
3. Bush/Cheney ’04: Because the truth just isn’t good enough.
4. Bush/Cheney ’04: Compassionate Colonialism
5. Bush/Cheney ’04: Deja-voodoo all over again!
6. Bush/Cheney ’04: Leave no billionaire behind
7. Bush/Cheney ’04: Less CIA — More CYA
8. Bush/Cheney ’04: Lies and videotape but no sex!
9. Bush/Cheney ’04: Making the world a better place, one country at a time.
10. Bush/Cheney ’04: Putting the “con” in conservatism
11. Bush/Cheney ’04: Thanks for not paying attention.
12. Bush/Cheney ’04: This time, elect us!
13. Bush/Cheney: Asses of Evil
14. Don’t think. Vote Bush!
15. George W. Bush: A brainwave away from the presidency
16. George W. Bush: It takes a village idiot
17. George W. Bush: The buck stops Over There
18. Vote Bush in ’04: Because dictatorship is easier
19. Vote Bush in ’04: It’s a no-brainer!
20. Vote for Bush & You Get Dick!
Q. What goes “Nort, Nort”?…
Q. What goes “Nort, Nort”?
A. A bull with a cleft palate.
The Minister, Priest and Rabbi
A minister, a priest, and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It
was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came
upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off
all their clothes and jumped in the water.
Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while
enjoying their “freedom.” As they were crossing an open area,
who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to
get their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered
their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for
cover.
After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on,
the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his
face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied, “I don’t know
about you, but in MY congregation, it’s my face they would
recognize!”