5. I’m not going to grant any extensions.
4. Call me any time. I’m always available.
3. It doesn’t matter what I think; write what you believe.
2. Think of the midterm as a diagnostic tool.
1. My other section is much better prepared than you guys.
Author: admin
Q: How many social
Q: How many social workers does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Four. One to remove the bulb from the socket and take it away without checking whether or not there was actually anything wrong with it, one to accuse its owners of mistreating it, one to find somewhere else to screw it in for the next 6 months, and one to eventually bring it back and say it was all done with the lightbulb’s best interests at heart.
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Jumpin off a bridge
a smart blonde, a blonde, and santa clause jumped off a bridge at the same time. which one hit the groun first?
the blonde, the other two dont exised.
An Honest Lawyer?
An investment counsellor went out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realised she needed an in-house counsel, so she began interviewing young lawyers.”As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, “in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question.” She leaned forward.”Mr. Peterson, are you an *honest* lawyer?””Honest?” replied the job prospect.”Let me tell you something about honesty. Why, I’m so honest that my father lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case.””Impressive….. And what sort of case was that?”The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, “He sued me for the money.”
Goebel’s Law Of Product Introductions:
Goebel’s Law Of Product Introductions: A future product release date does not say when a product will be introduced. All it says it that you don’t have a chance of seeing it before that time.
Osma Bin Laden
Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding on a camel
when they stopped at a small town. Bin Laden gets off the camel
and lifts up its tail and looks at the camel’s butt, just then a
guy comes over and says, “What are you doing?”
Osama replies, “About 2 miles back I heard someone say, ‘Hey,
look at the two assholes on that camel.”
Washing machine
What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine? You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won’t call you a week later.
wild card
One day a little boy named Bobby walked in on his parents having
sex. “What are you doing?” asked Bobby.
“We’re playing poker and your mom’s the wild card,” replied the
father.
So Bobby walked out and went into his brother’s room and saw his
brother and his girlfriend having sex. “What are you doing?”
asked Bobby.
“We’re playing poker and she’s the wild card,” replied his
brother.
So Bobby walked out and went to his room. Later on Bobby’s
father walked in. “What are you doing!?!” yelled his father.
Bobby replied, “I’m playing poker!”
“But where is your wild card?” asked his father.
Bobby replied, “With a hand like this who needs a wild card.”
Your mammas mouth
your mammas mouth is so ugly inside,when cavitys formed inside,they left a note saying, we will be back when your mouth is not as nasty as us.
Era la primera cita de
Era la primera cita de Pepito con su novia, y �ste no sab�a que hacer. Por eso, su hermano mayor y �l estaban hablando a trav�s de unos walkie-talkie.
Se hizo de noche y Pepito va a dejar a su novia a su departamento. Como Pepito quer�a tener sexo con ella, comienza a comunicarse con su hermano.
“Oye, quiero acostarme con mi chava, �qu� es lo primero que debo hacer?”
“Primero, ll�vala a su cama y dale un beso”, le instruye el hermano.
“Ya lo hice, ahora qu�”.
“Qu�tale la ropa”.
“S� ya, qu� sigue”.
“Ahora qu�tale la ropa interior”.
“Listo, qu� m�s”.
“Bueno, desv�stete t�”.
“Qu� sigue”.
“Por �ltimo, m�tele lo que s�lo t� y yo tenemos”.
Pasan 5 minutos y el hermano intrigado le pregunta: “�Pepito, qu� haces?”
“Lo que me dijiste, le met� lo que s�lo t� y yo tenemos”.
“��Y que le metiste?!”
“El walkie-talkie”.
Glass wall
Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.