Yours Fun Portal !
One day A Blonde girl was running out to check her mail and a neighbor was watching. 5 minutes later she checked it again this happened all through the day till the neighbor went outside and stopped her and asked her why she kept looking in her mail box and her reply was.
“My computer keeps telling me I have mail!”
Yo’ mama so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
Q: How does a blonde part their hair?
A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart)
A2: By doing the splits.
The horses in the race are:
1. Passionate Lady
2. Clean Sheets
3. Bare Belly
4. Thighs
5. Silk Panties
6. Big Johnson
7. Conscience
8. Heavy Bosom
9. Jockey Shorts
10. Merry Cherry
At the post: Aaaaaand they’re off !!! Conscience is left behind at
the post. Jockey Shorts and Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is
being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big
Johnson in a very tight spot.
At the halfway mark: It’s Bare Belly on top. Thighs opens up and
Big Johnson is pressed in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against
Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly.
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson.
At the stretch: Merry Cherry cracks under the strain. Big Johnson is
making the final drive. Passionate Lady is coming.
At the finish: It’s Big Johnson giving everything he’s got !!!…and
Passionate Lady takes everything Big Johnson has to offer !!! It
looks like a dead heat but BIG JOHNSON squirts through and wins by a
head!!!
WHOHHH!! Heavy Bosom weakens, and Thighs pull up. Clean Sheets never had
a chance…………
16> 4 words: Rage Against The Bagpipe
15> Bob Marley’s cause: freedom and equality
U2’s cause: third world debt relief
Your band’s cause: irritable bowel syndrome
14> All your members are allergic to Spandex *and* Aqua Net.
13> The term “heavy metal” refers to the collective weight of the band’s orthodontics.
12> Critics hail you as the foremost talent in your musical niche. Your musical niche? Gangsta-Country.
11> “I’m sorry, but Sousa tunes set to a hip-hop beat just isn’t what the kids are buying these days, Mr. Boone.”
10> A Spice Girls cover band just doesn’t work if you’re 35 years old. And male. And there’s only one of you.
9> Percussionist always has to wait until the dishwasher cycles to retrieve his spoons.
8> You’re too busy making sequels to “The Matrix,” and besides, your bass playing sucks more than your acting.
7> Band motto: “Practice is for wusses.”
6> Genre: Boy Band. Tour Sponsor: NAMBLA
5> Your goals, in order of priority:
1) Score some drugs
2) Score some chicks
3) Score some instruments
4> Your band’s video is getting a lot of airplay on MTV — as a promo for “Jackass.”
3> Your female lead singer has talent — just not D-cup talent.
2> You keep letting David Lee Roth back in.
1> Now that you see the jumbo letters on the marquee, you realize that naming the band “Closed For Private Party” was a big mistake.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]What do you call 88 rednecks in an orgy?
A family reunion.
I am forwarding my marriage certificate and six children. I have seven, but one which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.
I am writing the Welfare Department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?
Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited by the clergy regularly.
I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell me why?
I am glad to report that my husband who was missing is dead.
This is my ninth child. What are you going to do about it?
Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can’t eat or do anything until he knows for sure.
I am very annoyed to find you have branded my son illiterate. This is as dirty lie, as I was married a week before he was born.
In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing ten pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.
I am forwarding my marriage certificate and three children, one of which is a mistake as you can see.
My husband got his project cut off two weeks ago and I haven’t had any relief since. What are you going to do about it?
Unless I get my husband’s money pretty soon I will be forced to lead an immortal life.
You have changed my little boy to a little girl. Will this make any difference.
I have no children yet as my husband is a truck driver and works day and night.
In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.
I want my money as quick as I can get it. I’ve been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn’t do me any good. If things do not improve, I will have to send for another doctor.
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about
something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.
She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, since he sometimes could be a bit crude.
But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.
Well the teacher couldn’t figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was. “It’s a period,” reported Johnnie.
“Well I can see that,” she said. “But what is so exciting about a period.”
“Damned if I know,” said Johnnie, “but this morning my sister said she missed one….
Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the guy next door shot himself!”
one day one man kirykkan
In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water
served here.
In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you’ll find
they are best in the long run.
Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman,
“Isn’t that Bush and Powell?”
The barman said, “Yep, that’s them.”
So the guy walked over and said, “Hello. What are you guys doing?”
Bush said, “We’re planning World War III.”
The guy asked, “Really? What’s going to happen?”
Bush said, “Well, we’re going to kill 10 million Iraqis and one bicycle
repairman.”
The guy exclaimed, “Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!”
Bush turned to Powell and said, “See, I told you no one would worry about the
10 million Iraqis!”
what do blonds and turtals have incomon
when there on there backs there fucked