Because he wanted to get to the other side
Author: admin
Mayonaise
Q: What did the mayonsaise say to the refrigetrator?
A: Shut the door, I’m dressing!
Redneck Sex Test
1. The clitoris is a type of flower. True or False2. A pubic hair is a type of wild rabbit. True or False3. Spread Eagle is an extinct bird. True or False4. Vagina is a medical term used to describe a Heart Attack. True or False5. A menstrual cycle has three wheels. True or False6. A G-string is part of a fiddle. True or False7. Semen is a term for sailors. True or False8. Anus is a Latin term for yearly. True or False9. Testicles are found on an Octopus. True or False10. Asphalt describes rectal problems. True or False11. KOTEX is a radio station in Cincinnati. True or False12. Masturbate is used to catch large fish. True or False13. Coitus is a musical instrument. True or False14. Foetus is a character on Gunsmoke. True or False15. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute. True or False16. A condom is a large apartment complex. True or False17. An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir. True or False18. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry. True or False19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle. True or False20. An erection is when Japanese people vote. True or False21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East. True or False22. Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass. True or False23. Pornography is the business of making records. True or False24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin. True or False25. Oral Sex is when you sit and talk dirty to each other.
Arafat’s Advice to Clinton
What was Arafat’s Advice to Clinton?
Goats don’t talk.
Robin Hood
Hollywood is working on a year 2005 version of Robin Hood.
In this one, Robin Hood steals stock options from dot-com billionaires and gives them to people he finds reading “Computers for Dummies” books.
Car
After their car broke down on a lonely country road, three men sought a
night’s shelter at a farmhouse. The farmer, poor but eager to help them, said
that he only had two beds so one of the three would have to sleep in the barn.
Immediately, one of the travelers, a polite Hindu mathematician, agreed and
left for the barn. A short while later he returned and apologetically explained
that there were cows in the barn and for religious reasons he could not sleep
there.
Another of the guests, a conservative rabbi, volunteered, picked up
his bedding and left for the barn. It wasn’t long before he returned complaining
that the pig in the barn made it impossible for him to sleep there.
The last of the stranded trio, a lawyer, sighed and grudgingly picked up his
bag and shuffled off to the barn.
Soon, there was another knock at the door. When the farmer answered it, there
were the cows and the pig.
When to slap a midget?
When is the only polite time to slap a midget?
When he says, “Gee, your hair smells terrific.”
In the December 15, 1993 issue of The Chronicle…
In the December 15, 1993 issue of The Chronicle Of Higher Education,
page A19, in an article discussing MBA programs; Lawrence E. McKibbin,
Dean of Business at Washburn University of Topeka is quoted as saying:
“You’ve got to remember there are at least 35 schools in the top 10.”
If this is the sort of math they teach MBA’s, no wonder American
business is in trouble.
Pig In Summer
Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer’s day? A: I’m bacon!
What’s The Angle
A very good looking man walks into a singles bar, gets a drink and has a seat. During the course of the evening he tries to chat with every single woman who walks into the bar, with no luck. Suddenly a really ugly man, and I mean R-E-A-L-L-Y ugly man walks into the bar. He sits at the bar, and within seconds he is surrounded by women. Very soon he walks out of the bar with the two of the most beautiful women you ever saw.
Disheartened by all this, the good looking man asks the barman, ‘Excuse me, but that really ugly man just came in here and left with those two stunning women – what’s his secret? He’s as ugly as sin and I’m everything a girl could want but have not been able to connect all night – What’s going on?’
‘Well,’ Said the Barman, ‘I don’t know how he does it, but he does the same thing every night. He walks in, orders a drink, and just sits there licking his eyebrows…’
Bare back…
An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down.
An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.
The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills.
When they arrived in town, the Indian let her off at the local service station, yelled one final ‘yahoo’ and rode off.
‘What did you do to get that Indian so excited?’ asked the service station attendant.
‘Nothing,’ shrugged the woman, ‘I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn’t fall off.’
‘Lady,’ the attendant said, ‘Indians ride bareback…’
Yo Mama Golden Arches
Yo’ mama like a Big Mac — full of fat and only worth a buck!