Teacher to a student: “Can you think of a solution to end unemployment?”
“Yes, sir! I’d put all the men on one island and the women on another.”
“And what would they be doing then?”
“Building boats!”
Author: admin
IQ
At a party, Albert Einstein introduces himself to the first
person he sees and immediately asks, “What is your IQ?” “241,”
the man replies. “Wonderful!” Albert says. “We will talk about
the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe.
We will have much to discuss!”
Albert then introduces himself to a woman nearby, asking, “And
what is your IQ?” The lady answers, “144.” “Great!” says Albert.
“We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much
to discuss!”
Moving around the room, Albert pulls aside another man and asks,
“What is your IQ?” to which the man answers, “51.” Albert lets
go of his arm and takes his hand to shake it, saying, “Hello Mr.
President!”
Confusion
How do you confuse an idiot?
7
Computer lingo guide
Screen – What is a must during black fly season
Always remember you’re unique, just
Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
Afgan olympics
Why aren’t afghanastan people in the olympics?
Because there is no camel hunting in the olympics!
You’re a redneck … your dad walks you
You’re a redneck if…. Your dad walks you to school because you are both in
the same grade.
Teamwork
The loaded mini-van pulled in to the only remaining campsite.
Four children leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly
unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rushed to
gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the
camp stove and cooking utensils.
A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters’ father, “That, sir,
is some display of teamwork.”
The father replied, “I have a system. No one goes to the
bathroom until the camp is set up.”
Trouble at the bar
A guy goes into a bar and says, “Quick, gimme a beer before the trouble starts!”
The barman looks around the sleepy bar, shrugs and hands the guy a bottle of beer.
The guy drinks it fast. “Quick! gimme another beer before the trouble starts!”
The barman looks at the guy oddly but hands another beer to the guy.
The guy drinks it fast. “Quick another beer before the trouble starts!”
The barman hands him another beer, with a frown on his face, but hands it over reluctantly.
Again, the guy drinks it fast. “Quick another beer before the trouble starts!”
The barman replies, “Look pal, exactly what trouble are you talking about?”
“I haven’t got any money!”
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly…
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A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady’s teeth. He noticed
that she was a little nervous, so he began to tell her a story as he was
putting on his surgical gloves…
“Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?”
She said, “No.”
“Well”, he spoofed, “down in Mexico they have this big building setup
with a large tank of latex and the workers are all picked according to
hand size. Each individual walks up to the tank, dips their hands in, and
then walk around for a bit while the latex sets up and dries right onto
their hands! Then they peel off the gloves and throw them into the big
‘Finished Goods Crate’ and start the process all over again.”
She didn’t laugh a bit.
Five minutes later, during the procedure, he had to stop cleaning her teeth
because she burst out laughing. The old woman blushed and exclaimed, “I
just suddenly thought about how they must make condoms!”
Se dice que un general
Se dice que un general del ej�rcito tenia tendencias “raras”, le gustaba partir nueces con los codos, era gay pues, y llama a un soldado y con el aire marcial del ej�rcito le dice:
“Soldado God�nez.”
“A sus �rdenes mi General.”
“Soldado, le ordeno que me haga el amor”
“Perd�n mi general no le entiendo.”
“Que le ordeno que me haga el amor o lo encierro 6 meses, por insubordinamiento.”
Ante la amenaza de encarcelamiento, el soldado accede y una vez que el General se pone en posici�n, el soldado saca su arma y se dispone a ejecutar la orden.
Todo va transcurriendo “normalmente” hasta que el soldado, invadido por la calentura, se pone jacarandoso y le empieza a besar el cuello al General, por lo que el general se levanta r�pidamente y le dice:
“�Momentito, soldado, sin mariconer�as por favor!”
Screw her
Two divorce lawyers were having drinks in a lounge after a grueling day in the
courts. In walks the most stunning woman either of the lawyers had seen in a
long time. One of the lawyers says, “Boy! I sure would like to screw her!” To
which the other replies, “Out of what?”