Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the field decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, they were quite surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator that is activated when the raft is inflated. We can pretty much guess that they are no longer employed there.
Author: admin
Driving Nuns
A police officer had just pulled over a car full of nuns for going too slow on a major highway. The conversation went like this:
Police officer: “Why were you driving so slowly?”
Nun driver: “I kept seeing all these signs with the number 20 on them and figured that was the speed limit.”
Police officer: “No, Sister, that is the highway number.”
Nun: “Oh, I’m so sorry, Officer, I didn’t know that.”
Then the police officer looks into the back seat and sees that the nuns there have panic-stricken faces and white knuckles from holding on to each other too tightly.
Police officer: “What’s wrong with the nuns in the back seat?”
Nun: “Oh, we just got off Highway 101 a few miles ago.”
Q: How many junkies
Q: How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two: One to roll it, and one to light it up.
Barred
Did you hear about the nympho at the hotel pool?
She was barred from the area after the lifeguard saw her go down for the third time.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Grandma to visit
“Oh, I sure am happy to see you,” the little boy said to his grandmother on his dad’s side. “Now maybe mother will do the trick she has been promising us.”
The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that?” she asked.
“I heard her tell daddy,” the little boy answered, “that she would climb the walls if you came to visit.”
Edited by Calamjo and Curtis
Windtunel
What do you call ten Utah State law students standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.
Knock KnockWho’s there?Iona!Iona who?Iona a
Knock KnockWho’s there?Iona!Iona who?Iona a great train set!
Courage
A student at Baylor University named Jesse was taking one of the
hardest psychology teachers on campus. Throughout the semester
he was not doing so well on his exams and papers. It came time
for finals and he studied very hard for that class knowing that
it would be a one question test. During the year they talked
about a number of differnet things like why people act the way
they do and how to change that. What actions are taken in what
situtations and so on. To recieve a good grade on the test the
student had to write everything they knew on the test subject.
The day came for the test and the students, especially Jesse,
were very nervous. The teacher came in and wrote on the board
the question:
What is it to Be Courageous?
All of the students started writing frantically. Jesse sat there
for a while and simply wrote in his blue book:
This is being courageous.
Jesse recieved the only A in the class.
Shake one hand.
You know you’re a redneck if you introduce a friend to your wife and sister
and he only has to shake one hand.
Assorted Jokes
what do you calll a leper in a wind tunnel?
confetti!
what do you call an afghanistani in a freezer?
tough shit!
what do you call 100 pakistanis in the sea?
coco pops!
how do you save a paki from drowning?
take your foot off of his head
Humpty Dumpty
What’s big and brown and behind the wall?
Humpty’s Dump!!!
Bill Clinton is sitting next
Bill Clinton is sitting next to a White House intern one day at a
gathering. The President says to her, “Would you like to come to the Oval
office and see my clock?”
She says, “No, Mr. President, I don’t think so.”
The President replies, “Please. I’d really like to show it to you.”
“No, Mr. President, I really can’t.”
“Come on. Come and see my clock. It’ll only take a minute.”
“All right. If it won’t take long.”
They go to the Oval Office. The President sits down, unzips his
pants, and pulls out his dick.
The intern says, “That’s not a clock, it’s a cock.”
To which the President says, “If you put two hands and a face on it, it’s a
clock sweetheart.”