What do you call ten Utah State law students standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.
Author: admin
Cliffhanger
Once upon a time there were two men who had gone cliff climbing.
Suddenly, one man lost his footing and went tumbling down to the bottom. The other man frantically screamed, “Roger!”, and was relieved to hear a faint reply.
“Okay Rodge,” shouted Barry, “I’m gonna throw a rope down to you, so wrap it ’round one of your legs and..” but before he could finish, he heard Roger call “But both my legs are broke.”
Barry suggested his arms, to which the reply was “They’re broken too!” So finally, Roger held on with his mouth. Barry struggled to pull up the rope, and when he was nearly there, Barry said, “You right there mate?” to which Rodger replied,”YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS……..”
Barred
Did you hear about the nympho at the hotel pool?
She was barred from the area after the lifeguard saw her go down for the third time.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Caring man
Q. How many honest, caring, intelligent men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
Humpty Dumpty
What’s big and brown and behind the wall?
Humpty’s Dump!!!
Newspaper Article
A woman was lonely so she posted an add in the newspaper that
said ” I want a man who cant choke me, cant run away from me and
has good sex.” then 2 weeks later a guy with no arms,and no legs
came and said “im the man youve been waiting for honey!” then
she says how do you fit the description???'” and he said “well i
have no arms so i cant choke you and i have no legs so i cant
run away from you” then she said” well how do i know you have
good sex” and he said “how do you think i open the door”
Gypped Gypsies
Why can’t gypsies have children?
Because their husbands have crystal balls!
A woman could never
A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house.
He would come home from work, sit in front of the tv, eat dinner, and
sit some more — would never do those little household repairs that
most husbands take care of. This frustrated the woman quite a bit.
One day the toilet stopped up. When her husband got home, she said
sweetly, “Honey, the toilet is clogged. Would you look at it?” Her
husband snarled, “What do I look like? The tidy-bowl man?” and sat
down on the sofa.
The next day, the garbage disposal wouldn’t work. When her husband got
home, she said, very nicely, “Honey, the disposal won’t work. Would you
try to fix it for me?” Once again, he growled, “What do I look like?
Mr. Plumber?”
The next day, the washing machine was on the blink. When her husband
got home, she steeled her courage and said, “Honey, the washer isn’t
running. Would you check on it?” And again was met with a snarl, “What
do I look like? The Maytag repairman?”
Finally, she had had enough. The next morning, the woman called three
repairmen to fix the toilet, the garbage disposal, and the washer.
When her husband got home, she said, “Honey, I had the repairmen out
today.” He frowned, “Well, how much is that going to cost?” “Well,
honey, they all said I could pay them by baking them a cake or having
sex with them.”
“Well, what kind of cakes did you bake them?” he asked. She smiled.
“What do I look like? Betty Crocker?”
Penny Bar
A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.
“Certainly, sir, that’ll be 1 cent.”
“One penny?!” exclaimed the guy.
The barman replied, “Yes.”
So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, “Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?”
“Certainly sir,” replies the bartender, “but all that comes to real money.”
“How much money?” inquires the guy.
“Four cents,” he replies.
“Four cents?!” exclaims the guy. “Where’s the guy who owns this place?”
The barman replies, “Upstairs with my wife.”
The guy says, “What’s he doing with your wife?”
The bartender replies, “Same as what I’m doing to his business.”
Knock Knock 6
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aldo!
Aldo who?
Aldo anywhere with you!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alec!
Alec who?
Alec-tricity. Isn’t that a shock!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alec!
Alec who?
Alec my lolly!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alex!
Alex who?
Alex the questions round here!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alexia!
Alexia who?
Alexia again to open this door!
Courage
A student at Baylor University named Jesse was taking one of the
hardest psychology teachers on campus. Throughout the semester
he was not doing so well on his exams and papers. It came time
for finals and he studied very hard for that class knowing that
it would be a one question test. During the year they talked
about a number of differnet things like why people act the way
they do and how to change that. What actions are taken in what
situtations and so on. To recieve a good grade on the test the
student had to write everything they knew on the test subject.
The day came for the test and the students, especially Jesse,
were very nervous. The teacher came in and wrote on the board
the question:
What is it to Be Courageous?
All of the students started writing frantically. Jesse sat there
for a while and simply wrote in his blue book:
This is being courageous.
Jesse recieved the only A in the class.
Knock KnockWho’s there?Iona!Iona who?Iona a
Knock KnockWho’s there?Iona!Iona who?Iona a great train set!