Author: admin

If Fed Ex and UPS

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If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosyllabic”? Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new? If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Questions in the girls room

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A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.

Before it got out of hand he thought he’d better do something. He spoke to all the girls that wore lipstick and asked them to meet him in the ladies room at 2pm.

When they arrived they found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them. The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies would better understand the problem if they saw how hard it was to clean.

The custodian then demonstrated. He took a berdaggled brush on a long handle out of a box. He dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick.

TOUGH MATH

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A young boy wasnt doing good in math . His parents tried everything, tootering, punishments, you name it. Well when all else fialed the father enrolled the boy into a catholic school. The next time the boy got his reportcard, he had a perfect grade in math. the father excliamed son what; was it to make you dok so good?was it the nuns the church what was it? the son goes well when i saw the picture of that guy nialed to the plus sign i knew this place ment bussiness.

A Scotsman is sitting in a bar in Cuba

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A Scotsman is sitting in a bar in Cuba and is minding his business when a man
with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of
whisky. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking
out the door. The bartender says, “Hey aren’t you going to pay for that?” The
man says, “Excuse me, Castro’s Army.” The bartender says, “Alright then” and the
man leaves.

A few minutes later another man with a large black beard walks in. The man
goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves him, the man
drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, “Hey
aren’t you going to pay for that?” The man says, “Excuse me, Castro’s Army.” The
bartender says “Alright then” and the man leaves.

The Scotsman gets an idea and walks up to the bar and orders a shot of whisky.
He drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, “Hey
aren’t you going to pay for that?” The Scotsman says, “Excuse me, Castro’s
Army.” The bartender says, “Hey where is your big black beard?” The Scotsman
thinks quickly. He lifts his Kilt and says, “Secret Service!”

Resulta que hab�a un concurso

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Resulta que hab�a un concurso entre maricas para ver qui�n de ellos ten�a el trasero m�s sensitivo.

Viene el primer concursante, se pone en posici�n de ‘pollito tomando agua’ y le meten el mango de un plumero. El marica empieza a decir:

“Es un plumero de mango de caoba de 30 cm, las plumas son de ganso de color rosado y algunas de pavo real”.

Toda la gente empieza a aplaudir.

Viene el segundo participante, la misma posici�n. Le meten un l�piz y empieza a describir:

“Es un l�piz marca ‘Mongol’, HB, color amarillo, le acaban de sacar punta… �y tiene hasta borrador!”

La gente estalla en aplausos nuevamente.

Viene el tercer competidor, a �ste le ponen un embudo, por donde se pueden imaginar, y comienzan a echarle una taza de caf� reci�n preparado (con agua reci�n hervida). El maric�n chilla:

“�Ay, ay!”

“�Qu� pasa? �Est� muy caliente?”, le preguntan.

“�No, est�pido, no le han puesto az�car y sabe horrible!”