Author: admin

Blonde and computers

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Yesterday I came back to my office from Court. There was a new secretary (a very attractive blonde, of course?) in the office down the hall from me. She flagged me down and asked for help. “My floppy drive won’t work, can you help me ?” she asked.

I told her I’d take a look and proceeded over to her machine, where I found shredded up clear plastic Baggie-like stuff hanging out of her 3.5″ floppy drive. While I spent the next 20 minutes getting out her disk and digging out the plastic, I noticed two guys, John and Dave, in the hall trying awfully hard to keep straight faces. Suspecting some mischief, I asked her how the plastic got into the drive.

“Oh, you mean the condom!”, she said.

“Condom???”, I asked.

“Yes, John & Dave over there told me to always put a condom on my disk before inserting it, to prevent catching viruses.”

By this point, John & Dave were roaring, and it was all I could do to keep from joining them. The “condom” turned out to be a standard 3.5″ plastic sleeve. I delicately explained to her that a practical joke had been played, and she shouldn’t do that anymore, when she asked (as serious as one could be):

“Does that mean I don’t have to stroke it ten times or blow on it either???”

A Polish man finds a

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A Polish man finds a jeannie lamp on the beach, he rubs it and the jeannie
comes out and says: “I grant you one wish.”

He said to the jeannie, “I want you to build me a bridge to Poland.”

The jeannie said: “No one can build a bridge that long,
you have to pick another wish.”

He thinks for a minute and said: “I want you to make all my family and friends in
Poland smart so people don’t put them down.”

The jeannie replies, “How many lanes did you want on that bridge?”

Little boy’s room

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The Michael Jackson trial continued yesterday with the mother Michael Jackson’s kids Debbie Rowe taking the witness stand.

The judge has imposed some strict rules, for example no one involved in the case is allowed to leave the courtroom at anytime, not even for bathroom breaks.

The judge made the ruling after Michael kept raising his hand asking if he could go to the little boy’s room.

-Rick Fancy

Religious Nuts

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A priest and a pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the
road holding up a sign that reads, Quote: The End is near! Turn yourself around
now before it’s too late!
“Leave us alone you religious nuts!” yelled the first driver as he sped by.
From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big crash.
“Do you think,” said one clergy to the other, “we should just put up a sign
that says, ‘BRIDGE OUT’ instead?”