Author: admin

Estaban las gallinas recibiendo el alimento diario por parte de su due�o. Este les repart�a el alimento dici�ndoles palabras cari�osas para que tuvieran m�s producci�n de huevos.

Cuando el granjero se retir�, la gallina l�der les dice: “�MOMENTO! a poco se van a dejar llevar por las palabritas de ese pendejo, �ni madre! ahora no pongamos ning�n huevo.”

Al d�a siguiente, sorprendido por la falta de producci�n, el granjero les vuelve a dar su alimento, dej�ndoles, adem�s, unas monedas para que se compraran sus golosinas.

Al retirarse el granjero, la gallina rebelde grita: “�MOMENTO! no nos dejemos corromper por este farsante, hoy tampoco habr� producci�n de huevos.”

Al d�a siguiente el productor, todav�a m�s extra�ado por la actitud de sus aves, les reparte su alimento en doble raci�n y les dice palabras m�s dulces que la miel; pero al hacer como que se retira del gallinero descubre la forma en que la gallina est� alborotando a las dem�s para que no tengan producci�n de huevos.

Al ver tal situaci�n, el ranchero muy enojado se lleva a la l�der y la arroja con los gallos. Estos, sedientos de placer al ver a la dama, empiezan a alborotarse y cuando se le van acercando grita la gallina:

“�Momento, momento. Me trajeron aqu� por alborotadora, no por puta!”

While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s testicles. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with an onion.Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkups.”How’s your sex life?” the doctor asked.”Pretty good, but I’ve had some strange side effects.””Like what?” the doctor asked anxiously.”Well, every time I piss my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on.”

A businessman was in Japan to make a presentation to the Toyota motor people. Needless to say, this was an especially important deal, and it was imperative that he make the best possible impression. On the morning of the presentation he awoke to find himself passing gas, in large volumes, with the unpleasant characteristic of sounding like “HONDA.” The man was besides himself. Every few minutes “HONDA”, “HONDA”…. Unable to stop this aberrant behavior, and in desperate need to terminate these odious and rather embarrassing emissions, he sought a physicians aid. After a full examination, the doctor told him that there was nothing inherently wrong with him and that he would just have to wait it out. Being unwilling to accept this state of affairs he visited a second and then a third doctor all of whom told him the same thing. Finally one medic suggested that he visit a dentist. Well although he could not see how a dentist was going to be of any help, he visited one anyway. Lo and behold, the dentist said, “Ah, there’s the problem” “What is it?” the man asked.”Why you have an abscess,” said the dentist.”An abscess. How could that be causing my problem?” asked the man.”That’s easy,” replied the dentist.”Why everyone knows… Abscess makes the fart go Honda.”

Did you hear about the [ethnic] lady who was called upon to use her
diaphragm so often she kept it tacked to the headboard of her bed?

A single guy goes to the grocery store. He picks up the basics, milk, bread, butter, eggs etc… Hes putting his stuff on the counter, and the cashier says to him, “I bet your single.” The guy says, ‘Wow. can you tell that just by the stuff Im buying?” The cashier looks at him and says “No, you’re ugly.”