Author: admin

Q: Why do men always give their penis a name?
A: Because they don’t want a stranger making 95 percent of their decisions for
them.

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist named Jon complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.”Not very long,” answered the Mexican.”But then, why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?” asked Jon.The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.Mr. Berg asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?””I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and fuck the shit out of my wife. In the evenings I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, get a quick blowjob and sing a few songs. I have a full life.”Our intrepid Mr. Berg interrupted, “I have a M.BA. from Stanford and I can help you.You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New Jersey! From there you can direct your huge enterprise.””How long would that take?” asked the Mexican.”Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years,” replied Jon.”And after that?””Afterwards? That’s when it gets really interesting,” answered Jon, laughing. “When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!””Millions? Really? And after that?””After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, fuck the shit out of your wife, and spend your evenings drinking and playing the guitar with your friends!”

Un tipo, ansioso por echarse un trago, llega a un bar de un hotel de muchas estrellas; al escoger su mesa, levanta la mano, llama al mesero y ordena:

�Por favor, un whisky doble�.

Al instante, el mesero regresa y le sirve uno sencillo.

�Con tantos clientes se debe haber equivocado�, piensa el se�or, y se lo toma.

En seguida, pide otro whisky doble, y el mesero nuevamente, le sirve uno sencillo.

��Qu� raro, algo debe pasar!�, piensa, pero se bebe la copa, y pide nuevamente:

�Un whisky doble por favor.�

Y de nuevo, el mesero le sirve uno sencillo.

Esto se repite todas las veces que pide un whisky doble, pero el sujeto no dice nada. Cuando le sirven la copa n�mero veinte, el hombre ya est� medio borracho y le reclama al mesero:

��Ptss, ptss! Oiga, �c�mo est� eso: yo le pido un whisky doble y usted me trae uno sencillo?�

�Se�or, lamento decirle que en este bar todo es al rev�s�.

��A poco? ��Ahora me vas a salir con que EL TONTO HIJO DE … SOY YO Y NO VOS?!�