The other day my wife said to me:
“Honey, give me 12 inches and make it hurt,”
so I fucked her twice and hit her in the back of the head with a brick.
Author: admin
Un marica llega llorando muy
Un marica llega llorando muy angustiado a contarle a su novio que le acaban de diagnosticar SIDA. El compa�ero lo consuela y le dice:
“No llores, amorcito, mira, ponte por las noches una mascarilla de barro”.
El homosexual, emocionado, le pregunta:
“�Y con eso me voy a curar, cuchi cuchi?”
“No, pendejo, pero te vas a ir acostumbrando a la tierrita”.
Perform better
There was an Individual in a company where I used to work who had the title of
“Technology Supervisor.” One of her first projects was to put a PC on everyone’s
desk. She decided to go with the model that had the highest rated power supply.
Why? She figured it must be the most powerful. She also submitted a request to
upper management to rewire the division’s building to run on 220 volts because
it would make the existing equipment currently running on 110) “perform better.”
Needless to say, she did not last very long in that position.
Homer Simpson
“What are you gonna do then? Let out the dogs? or the bees? or dogs with
bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?”
“My son, when you are in a sport, it isn’t about winning or loosing..it’s
about how drunk you gets”
“Bart, a woman is excactly like a beer. They look good, they smell good,
and you would kill your own mother to get one”
“Kill my boss?! Do I really dare to live out the american dream?”
“Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are just made up, just like fearies, trolls
and eskimos.”
“Ohh, I love your newspaper. Especially the part with ‘increase your
vocabulary’. I find it very…very…very…good.”
“Miss! Give me the number to 911!”
Beer on hand
Q: What is a man doing when he pours beer on his hand?
A: Getting his date drunk.
When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the…
When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
We saw you
you my weighs so much when you she goes in a lift the only opions down
Definition of a good date!
These three women were roommates. One night they all had all gone out on dates and all came home at about the same time.
The first one said, “You know you’ve been on a good date when you come home with your hair all messed up.”
The second one said, “No, you know you’ve been on a good date when you come home with your makeup all smeared.”
The third one said nothing, but reached under her skirt, removed her panties and threw them against the wall, where they stuck.
She said, “Now THAT’S a good date!!”
Hair Dresser…
- Hair Dresser (noun)
- Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to
duplicate again. See “Magician”.
The blonde and Cheerios
Q. What did the blond say to her father after she opened a box of Cheerios?A. OOOOOOH, look daddy, doughnut seeds!!!
Yo mama is so dark
Yo mama so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
Knock KnockWho’s there?Odessa!Odessa who?Odessa hot
Knock KnockWho’s there?Odessa!Odessa who?Odessa hot one!