Author: admin

Porch or Ferrari !

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”

The blonde said “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”

The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

“You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. “Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

Hillary’s Panties

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One day Bill Clinton was jogging through the streets of D.C. with two of his
Secret Service agents. He turned to one and stated “I can’t wait to get back to
the White House…I’m going to rip Hillary’s panties off”. The Secret Service
Agent asked him “Why Bill? Does jogging make you hot, make you horny?

“No” said Clinton…”they are creeping up the cracks of my ass!”

Wishing

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A man and woman were lying in bed on night and the woman said to the man, “I sure wish I had bigger tits.”

The man responded by saying she should rub toilet paper all over them.

The woman looked at him and asked, “Toilet paper, what will that do?”

The man said, “I don’t know, but look what it’s done for your ass!”

Driving the Secretar

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One evening a man drove his secretary home after she had worked late at the office and wasn’t feeling well enough to drive herself. Although this was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous easily.Later that night the man and his wife were driving to a restaurant. Suddenly he looked down and spotted a high-heeled shoe half hidden under the passenger seat.Not wanting to be conspicuous, he waited until his wife was looking out her window before he scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the car. With a sigh of relief, he pulled into the restaurant parking lot.That’s when he noticed his wife squirming around in her seat.”Honey,” she asked, “have you seen my other shoe?”

How often?

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An older couple had been dating for some time when they decided
to get married.
They dicussed all the nessary issues: living arrangements,
payments, hoildays and of course the big day.
With alot of hesitation the man finally came out with his
question. “what about sex??” he asked hopefully.
The women replied.”i would have to say infrequently”
The man replied is that with one word or two??!!

Air Force One crashes

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Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. Secret Service descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the President’s staff. To their amazement, a lone farmer was plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to surround the man’s tractor.”Sir,” the senior Secret Service agent asked, panting and out of breath.”Did you see this terrible accident happen?””Yep. Sure did.” The man muttered unconcernedly.”Do you realize that is the President of the United States airplane?””Yep.””Were there any survivors?” the agent gasped.”Nope. They’s all kilt straight out.” The farmer sighed cutting off his tractor motor. “I done buried them all myself. Took most of the morning.””The President of the United States is dead?” The agent gulped in disbelief.”Well,” the farmer sighed, obviously wanting to get back to his work. “He kept a-saying he wasn’t … but you know what a liar he is.”