What goes vroooom screech vroooom screech vroooom screech?
A blode going through a flashing red light.
Author: admin
Dial
Why do women like to use Dial soap?
Because dial spelled backwards is hapiness.
Two Deaf People
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that
they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights
because they can’t see each other using sign language. After several nights of
fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution.
“Honey,” she signs, “Why don’t we agree on some simple signals? For instance,
at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast
one time. If you don’t want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast
one time.”
The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, “Great
idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one
time. If you don’t want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis 50 times.”
The Top 16 Differences in Naked Sports
16> Just like that, WNBA teams finally begin to make a profit.
15> Pairs figure skating judges award an extra two-tenths of a point for no-hands lifts.
14> Week after week, women’s curling dominates Monday night TV ratings.
13> Entire hockey teams placed in penalty box during a Hooters halftime show for high sticking.
12> Don Zimmer joins Pete Rose on baseball’s banned-for-life list.
11> During the Women’s World Cup, American men are driven insane by the unresolvable dilemma: seeing nude women vs. having to watch soccer.
10> A lot more care has to be taken during relay-race handoffs.
9> The Baseball Hall of Fame has an admission charge; The Naked Baseball Hall of Fame has a cover and two-drink minimum.
8> Good dribbling skills no longer so highly valued.
7> Dramatic increase in baseball players nicknamed “A-Rod” and ice hockey players nicknamed “Pee Wee.”
6> Women’s gymnastics pommel horse event suddenly popular with the NASCAR crowd.
5> Some 90 percent of quarterbacks insist that all plays from scrimmage utilize the shotgun formation.
4> Fencing no longer requires actual swords, just a couple of Viagra pills.
3> After the naked Holyfield fight, other boxers steer clear of a bout with Mike Tyson.
2> Sen. Rick Santorum proposes legislation that would outlaw the two-man luge.
1> Trust me, you don’t want to know where the naked tennis players keep that extra ball when they serve.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
You so fat
you so fat every time you turn around its your birthday
1-iron
What should you do if your round of golf is interrupted by a lightning storm?
Walk around holding your 1-iron above your head, because even God can’t hit a 1-iron!
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing
You celebrate Groundhog Day because
You celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell.You’ve been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.
The Top 15 New Slogans for the Democratic Party
15. Okay, he’s a hound — But he’s OUR hound!
14. Vote for Our Guy or These Dole Viagra Pictures Hit the Internet
13. If the Dome is A-Rockin’, Don’t Come A-Knockin’!
12. When the Going Gets Tough, We Bomb Iraq.
11. So Spank Us! 10. It’s Not Our Fault All the Good Ones Get Shot
9. Our Pants May Fall, But Your 401(K) Value Won’t!
8. Felonies Dismissed While You Wait
7. Slide your fine ass over here and give us a vote, Darlin’!!
6. Mmmmmmm… Peachy!
5. Oh, So You Wanna Play Rough, Huh?
4. C’mon — We Didn’t Know He Was *THAT* Horny!
3. We’ve Got Cigarfignugen!
2. Impeach THIS!!!
1. Laid in America
[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ] [ The Top 5 List [email protected] http://www.topfive.com]Gone Fishing
Two men were sitting at a bar recounting their dreams. “I dreamed I was on vacation,” one man said fondly. “It was just me and my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake. What a dream.” “I had a great dream too,” said the other. “I dreamed I was in bed with two beautiful women and having the time of my life.” His companion looked over and exhorted, “You dreamed you had two women, and you didn’t call me?” “Oh, I did,” said the other, “but when I called, your wife said you’d gone fishing.”
The Diff…………
Whats does a short sighted Gynacologist and a dog have in common?
They both have wet noses!!!
UK vs USA
An Englishman was recently asked about the differences between
English and American people.
He said there were three:
1. We speak English and you don’t.
2. When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries.
3. When you meet the Head of State in England, you only have to go down on one knee.
Iban de paseo una ratita
Iban de paseo una ratita y un murci�lago por la alcantarilla. En eso, se encuentran con otra rata que se burla:
“�Jo, t�a, que novio m�s feo tienes!”
“S�, pero es piloto”, responde muy digna la otra.