Author: admin

There is an 80 year old virgin who suddenly gets an itch in her crotch area. She goes to the doctor who checks her out and tells her she has crabs. She explained that she couldn’t have crabs because she was a virgin, but the doctor didn’t believe her, so she went to get a second opinion.

The second doctor gave her the same answer. So she went to a third doctor and said “Please help me. This itch is killing me and I know that I don’t have crabs because I’m a virgin”.

The doctor checks her out and says “I have good news and bad news. The good news is you don’t have crabs, the bad news is that your cherry rotted and you have fruit flies.”

Hab�a una vez un se�or que se fue a aprender karate al Jap�n, y llevaba como 5 a�os estudiando, pero nada que aprend�a no pod�a dar ni una patada, y ya cansado y aburrido se decidi� a hablar con su maestro que era uno de esos viejitos como de 100 a�os que ense�an artes marciales.

Lleg� el d�a que iba a hablar con su maestro y le dijo: “No, maestro, estoy cansado de esto, llevo como 5 a�os de mi vida aqu� desperdiciados y no se ni dar ni una patada, ya no puedo m�s, me voy…”

El maestro se queda mir�ndolo seriamente a los ojos y con voz misteriosa le dice:

“�Has visto al atardecer cuando las gaviotas vuelan flamantes por la llanura?”

Y el joven responde: “S�, maestro.”

“�Has visto cuando los hipop�tamos se revuelcan en el fango?”

“S�, maestro.”

“Has visto cuando los leopardos se aparean en el ocaso.”

“S�, maestro.”

“�Ves, por estar viendo maricadas es que no aprendes un culo, guev�n!”

If brains were gasoline, you wouldn’t have enough to power yourself half
way around a cheerio!!

A priest a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar.

The bartender asks, “What is this a joke”

There was a family of 3 generations all living in separate
homes: The Father and mother [age 66 and 70] The Oldest Son and his wife and two childeren [a son-15 and a
daughter-10] &The youngest daughter and her husband and two children [a
daughter-12 and a son-8]

It was summer holidays for the children and the parents were all
working, so, just to let the kids play they decided to leave
them all at their grandparents [just a reminder aged 66 and 70] for thursday and friday every week until they had stopped the
working year and gone on holidays.

The children knew that their grandparents were over protective,
and also liked to chat a lot. So when the first day came, they
sat themselves down on the couch to watch some TV.
“NO NO NO! you cant just sit in front of the TV all day, you
have to go outside FIRST just for a little bit.” lectured the
grandmother.
the grandfather had left just a few minutes earlier and wouldnt
have objected to TV, it was peace and quiet for him.

So the kids went outside to find something to do. Andrew, the
oldest son of the oldest son, was bored and didnt want to play
anything, so he sat down and read a book. The other 3 had a
water fight with water pistols and water bombs and everything!
When the grandmother came out, she cracked a fit and let them
all watch TV.

Just a few minutes later, the grandmother returned and said to
Andrew, the oldest,
“Now Andrew, you’ve got 3 children in your hands now!”
“oh Gosh!” exclaims Andrew.
“Because im going out and you HAVE to be responsible!”
“Yeah whatever”
“WHATEVER!??!?!?! its not just WHATEVER, its 3 children, YOU
have to be responsible for them, you’re nearly 16!”
“and ill be driving soon, away, FAR away.”
“You should learn to be responsible!”
any way this continues for about another hour and finally when
the grandmother is satisfyed that Andrew will be responsible,
she ends it:
“fine, im going now.”
“Grandma, where are you going?”asks the youngest one.
“To the letter box, to check the mail.”