Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone?A: Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste.
Author: admin
Q: Why don’t they teach driver’s education…
Q: Why don’t they teach driver’s education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?
A: They don’t want to wear out the camel.
Fairy tales
What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time…”
A southern fairytale begins ‘Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit!…
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
Celebrate
If lovers celebrate Valentine’s day what do MP’s celebrate?
Palm Sunday!
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
Learning to Pick Up Toys
Dad: Look at this room. It’s a mess. When will our kids start picking up toys?
Mom: When they have kids!
Bush Has Feelings Too
George W. Bush told Dick Cheney, “I really hate all the stupid jokes people
make about me.”
Cheney reassured him by saying, “Jokes can’t hurt you. They are just made up
by a bunch of stupid people. In fact, most humans are quite stupid. Here, I’ll
show you what I mean.”
Cheney goes outside and hails a D.C. cab and says to the driver, “Please take
me to 261 M street to see if I’m home,” said Cheney.
Without a word, the cabbie took them straight to M Street. Cheney then rang
the doorbell, came back to the car and said, “Oh, I guess I’m not there! Take us
back to where we started, please.”
The cabbie did what he was told without a word. Cheney leaned over and said to
Dubya, “You get the idea? People are idiots wherever you go! Don’t worry about
their opinions!”
Bush said, “Thanks Dick. I feel a lot better.” Then he winked and whispered,
“Hooboy, was he stupid! He picked us up right in front of a phone booth. He
should have realized you could have called instead!
Q: How many dyslexics
Q: How many dyslexics does it take to bulb a light change?A: 10, one to change the light bulb and 9 to misread the manual.
President Jordan
I see that Michael Jordan has been named president of the Washington Wizards. Now we have two presidents in Washington who know how to score.
Grabel’s Law: 2 is
Grabel’s Law: 2 is not equal to 3, not even for large values of 2.
En una fiesta, una muchacha
En una fiesta, una muchacha le dice a su compa�era de al lado:
“Ten cuidado que ah� viene ‘El R�pido'”.
En eso viene ‘El R�pido’ y la invita a bailar. Cuando est�n bailando, �ste le dice:
“Oye chica, podr�as echarte el panty a un lado”.
“�Aj�, para met�rmelo!”, responde la chica.
“No, para sac�rtelo”.
Three breasted hooker
There’s this man who’s taking a walk around the red light district
until he passes a whorehouse with a blinking sign saying: “The
Hooker With Three Breasts…”. The man get’s just a little
interested and thinks “well… that could be a once in a lifetime
experience”. So he goes in and walks up to the man behind the
counter. “I’d like to see the hooker with the three breasts” he
says.
“Are you sure you can afford that… It’ll cost you a thousand
dollars” the pimp replies. But, the man is too exited, pull’s his
wallet and pays him the money. So, he’s taken up three stairs to a
little room in the back of the house and when he opens the room…
there she is. The room is dark but as he comes closer he sees it…
three breasts! And so the man absolutely has the night of his life.
The next day the man walks past that same whorehouse and thinking of
the night before and the time he had, he goes in and pays the pimp
another thousand dollars. Again, he goes up three stairs to that
little dark room in the back of the house. And as the day before,
she lies there waiting.
But, as he walks up to the hooker, he sees that something is
wrong… “Hey! You had three breasts yesterday…” he says after
which she smiles and says “What did you expect honey… you can only
suck out a boil like that once!”.
Q: How many loggers
Q: How many loggers does it take to change a light bulb?A: One, but he uses a chainsaw.