Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde’s eyes?A: The back of her head.
Author: admin
I am waxing the car
Addie: “Why are you wearing your winter coat?”
Erik: “Because I am waxing the car.”
Addie: “Why do you need a winter coat to wax the car?”
Erik: ” The wax container said a heavy coat makes the shine last longer!”
ur momma was walking down the sidewalk and…
ur momma was walking down the sidewalk and crapped her pants HAHAHAHAHAH
Q:What did one asshole say to the other asshole?…
Q:What did one asshole say to the other asshole?
A: Stop talking shit!
Why did Bill Clinton veto
Why did Bill Clinton veto the tax cuts?
So he could pay his interns.
Yo moma so fat…..
Yo moma so fat she jumped up and busted the earth open.
Roger Has It Tough
Roger is a hard worker who spends most of his nights bowling or playing volleyball. One weekend, his wife decides that he needs to relax a little and take a break from sports, so she takes him to a strip club. The doorman at the club spots them and says, “Hey, Roger! How are you tonight?”His wife, surprised, asks her husband if he has been here before. “No, no. He’s just one of the guys I bowl with.”They are seated. The waitress approaches, sees Roger, and says, “Nice to see you, Roger. A gin and tonic as usual?”His wife’s eyes widen. “You must come here a lot!””No, no,” says Roger. “I just know her from volleyball.”Then a stripper walks up to the table. She throws her arms around Roger and says, “Roger! A table dance as usual?”His wife, fuming, collects her things and storms out of the bar. Roger follows her and spots her getting into a cab, so he jumps into the passenger seat. His wife looks at him, seething with fury and lets Roger have it with both fists.At this, the cabby leans over and says, “Sure looks like you picked up a bitch tonight, Roger.”
Knock KnockWho’s there?Bea!Bea who?Beatle Bailey!
Knock KnockWho’s there?Bea!Bea who?Beatle Bailey!
Wine
A priest is driving down to New York to see a show, and he’s stopped in Connecticut for speeding.
Smelling alcohol on the good father’s breath and noticing a wine bottle on the passenger’s seat, the state trooper asks, “Sir, have you been drinking?”
The minister replies, “Just water.”
“Then, why do I smell wine?” the trooper inquires.
The minister looks down at the bottle and exclaims, “Good Lord, he’s done it again!”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
Two students miss a final exam
Introductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor Bonk. One year, two guys took the class and did pretty well on all the quizzes and mid-terms–so much so that going into the final, they each had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week, despite the Chemistry final being on Monday, they decided to go to the Uuniversity of Virginina to party with some friends.They did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and tiredness, they overslept all day Sunday and didn’t make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found professor Bonk after the final and explained to him how they missed the final. They told him they went up to the University of Virgina for the weekend and had planned to come back in time to study, but they had a flat tire on the way back and didn’t have a spare. They couldn’t fix it for a long time and were late getting back to campus.Bonk thought this over and agreed that they could take the final the following day. The two guys, elated and relieved, studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Bonk had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet. He told them to begin.They looked at the first problem which was something simple about molarity and solutions; it was worth 5 points. “Cool,” they thought, “this is going to be an easy final”. They then turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on it. The question contained only two words: (95 points) Which tire?
A Hunting We Will Go
A man finally talked his blonde wife into going hunting with him. While
they were out hunting, the man heard gunshots ring out from the area where
his wife was. He ran up in time to hear a cowboy say, “OK, OK lady, it’s
your deer, just let me take my saddle off it.”
And let’s not forget Moses,
And let’s not forget Moses, who at the parting of the Red Sea said;
“What’s all this? I was only going in for a little dip!”