Author: admin

Chainsaw

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This (Blonde) fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some
trees in his backyard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about
various chainsaws.

The dealer tells him, “Look, I have a lot of models, but why
don’t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get
the top-of- the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred
cords of wood for you in one day.”

So, the man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the
trees.After cutting for several hours and only cutting two
cords, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong
with the chainsaw. “How can I cut for hours and only cut two
cords?” the man asks himself. “I will begin first thing in the
morning and cut all day,” the man tells himself.

So, the next morning the man gets up at 4 am in the morning and
cuts and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and still he only
manages to cut five cords.

The man is convinced this is a bad saw. “The dealer told me it
would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem. I will
take this saw back to the dealer,” the man says to himself.

The very next day the man brings the saw back to the dealer and
explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the man’s claim,
removes the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says, “Hmm, it
looks fine.”

Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the man
responds, “What’s that noise?

Write in C (Let it Be)

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A Beatle’s Computer Parody Write in C (”Let it Be”) ———- When I find my code in tons of trouble, Friends and colleagues come to me, Speaking words of wisdom: ”Write in C.” As the deadline fast approaches, And bugs are all that I can see, Somewhere, someone whispers: ”Write in C.” Write in C, Write in C, Write in C, oh, Write in C. LOGO’s dead and buried, Write in C. I used to write a lot of FORTRAN, For science it worked flawlessly. Try using it for graphics! Write in C. If you’ve just spent nearly 30 hours, Debugging some assembly, Soon you will be glad to Write in C. Write in C, Write in C, Write in C, yeah, Write in C. BASIC’s not the answer. Write in C. Write in C, Write in C Write in C, oh, Write in C. Pascal won’t quite cut it. Write in C.

Debido a que el marido

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Debido a que el marido estaba en la c�rcel, una se�ora atravesaba penurias; como no la dejaban ver a su esposo le mand� una carta con el guardia. El mensaje ten�a escrito lo siguiente:

“P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P.”

El esposo le responde:

“C. C. C. C. C. C.”

El vigilante, intrigado, le pregunta a la mujer por el significado de las cartas. Ella le informa que escribi�:

“Paso Pobrezas Pinches Penurias Pido Permiso Para Putear”.

Y �l respondi�:

“Cuida Culito Cobra Carito Cari�os Charlie”.

Bimbogate Quotes

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The reason it’s always so difficult for this president to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth is because it’s usually three different stories. –Sam DonaldsonIf the president could convince every woman in America that the Bible says oral sex is not adultery, he’d even have my vote. –Newt GingrichWhat’s wrong with extending my probe? The president did the same thing. –Kenneth StarrThe special prosecutor is asking me to give oral testimony to the entire Grand Jury. –Monica LewinskyShouldn’t the president be held to the same standards as a TV sportscaster? –Marv AlbertThe president should promise to spend the rest of his life trying to find the real person who had oral sex with the intern. –OJ SimpsonIf I had to spend all day trying to find jobs for every bimbo who swore she didn’t have sex with the president, I’d never get any of my own work done. –Vernon JordanThe president should take up skiing. –Al GoreIf you’re looking for me this week, I’ll be in the bunker. –Saddam HusseinPracticing safe sex in the Clinton White House means making sure the door is locked. –George StephanopoulosIn last week’s Cabinet meeting, the president asked us to go out and win one for the zipper. –Madeliene ‘Aunt Bea’ Albright