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Los siete enanitos est�n de viaje por Europa, y han llegado a Roma. Piden audiencia con el Papa, ya que est�n por all� y por supuesto se la conceden, porque claro, para eso son LOS FAMOSOS SIETE ENANITOS.

Los enanitos, encabezados por Gru��n, entran en la sala de audiencias. El Papa les saluda: “Queridos hermanos, quereis preguntarme algo? Hay algo que los inquiete?” Gru��n se adelanta: “Disculpe Santidad, quer�amos saber si en Roma hay monjas enanas.” El Papa le responde sorprendido: “Pueeees, no, en Roma no hay monjas enanas.” Se oyen algunas risitas y murmullos entre los enanitos. Gru��n mira atr�s molesto y todos se callan. Vuelve a preguntar:”Y en Europa no hay monjas enanas?” El Papa responde de nuevo con santa paciencia: “No, querido hijo, que yo sepa en toda Europa no hay monjas enanas.” Ahora los enanitos se r�en francamente mientras Gru��n se va poniendo colorado. “Y en el mundo? En todo el mundo no hay monjas enanas?”, pregunta Gru��n. “No, querido hijo, seguro que en todo el mundo no hay monjas enanas”, responde el Papa.

Los enanitos, sin Gru��n, se r�en a carcajadas, saltan, se abalanzan los unos sobre los otros en montones mientras cantan: “Gru��n se cogi� a un ping�ino, Gru��n se cogi� a un ping�ino, Gru��n se cogi� a un ping�ino…”

It’s 1880, the decade of gunslingers and gentlemen. This is a story of one such young man that wanted more than anything to be the fastest and most respected gunslinger in the west.

The place was Dodge City, Kansas in the Sawdust Saloon. The young man walked into the Sawdust Saloon and, to his surprise, saw Wyatt Earp sitting at a table playing poker. The young man walked up to Wyatt and said, “Mr. Earp, I would like to be a gunslinger just like you. Could you give me some tips?”

Wyatt put his cards down, looked up at the boy and said, “Son, I don’t usually give out tips like this cause it could someday be detrimental to my health, but step back and let me take a look at you.”

The boy stepped back and Mr. Earp said, “You look good. You’re wearing black, you’ve got two ivory handled guns with waxed holsters, and you look like a gunslinger. But what’s more important, son, is: Can you shoot?”

The young man, happy to show how good he was, quickly drew his pistol from his right holster and without aiming shot the cuff link off of the piano player’s right sleeve.

Wyatt said, “That’s good shooting son, but can you shoot with your left hand?”

Before Earp could even finish, the boy had already drawn the pistol from his left holster and shot the cuff link off of the piano player’s left shirt sleeve. Very proud of himself the young man blew the smoke away from his six shooter and holstered his gun. “How was that?” the boy asked.

Wyatt smiled and looked up and the boy and said, “That was pretty good shooting son. I couldn’t do better than that myself, but I do have one good tip for you.”

“What’s that?” the boy asked.

“I suggest that you go to the kitchen and ask the cook for a large can of lard. Then take both guns of yours and stick them down deep into the lard.”

Puzzled the young gunslinger asked why he should do that.

Earp put his cards down again, leaned back in his chair, and said, “Well son, when Doc Holliday gets done playing the piano over there, he’s going to take those two guns of yours and. . . “

The boy didn’t wait for the rest of the answer.

Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked
across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had
settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked humbly,
“Jesus, I’ve suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam
war…could you help me?”
“Of course, my son”, Jesus said, and when he touched the man’s back, he felt
relief for the first time in years.
The second man, who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and
driving, asked if Jesus could do anything about his eyesight.
Jesus smiled, removed the man’s glasses and tossed them in the lake. When they
hit the water, the man’s eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly.
When Jesus turned to heal the union worker, the guy put his hands up and
cried defensively, “Don’t touch me! I’m on long term disability.”

Dr. Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical Engineering
Department,University of Oklahoma, is known for posing questions on
final exams like: ”Why do airplanes fly?”

In May a few years ago, the ”Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer ” exam
paper contained the question:

”Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof.”

Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law or
similar. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass.
If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate
are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think
we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it does not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you are not a
member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than
one of these religions, and people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With
the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change in the volume of Hell. Boyle’s Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass
of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.

[Answer 1] So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter Hell, then the temperature in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose.

[Answer 2] Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate (given to me by Teresa Banyan
during freshman year) that ”it’ll be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you”, and taking into account that I still have not succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then [Answer 2] cannot be correct;
…… thus, Hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.