Author: admin

Un turista regresa a su pa�s con un pollito que le hab�an regalado de recuerdo. En el avi�n, la azafata le explica que no se pueden llevar animales; as� que el viajero sale, se esconde el pollito en los calzoncillos y vuelve a entrar al aparato. Se sienta al lado de una monjita y se echa a dormir.

M�s tarde, el pollito saca la cabeza por entre la bragueta del hombre; mira tiernamente a la religiosa y emite un p�o, p�o. La mujer se alarma y se dirige al paseante:

“�Despierte, r�pido, despierte! Mire usted que yo no entiendo mucho de esto, pero me parece que se le rompi� un huevo”.

A proper man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500.00.

When he was ready to leave, he told her that he did not have any cash with him but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling it “Rent For Apartment.”

On the way to the office he decided that the whole event was not worth the price he agreed to pay, so he had his secretary send a note with a check for $250.00 and enclosed the following note:

Dear madam,

Enclosed, you should find a check in the amount of $250.00 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment I was under the impression that:

1. It had never been occupied.
2. That there was plenty of heat.
3. It was small.

Last night I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn’t any heat and it was entirely too large.

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250.00 with the following note:

Dear sir,

I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how turn it on. And if you don’t have enough furniture to fill it, don’t blame me.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tantilazing

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

The little girl says “Mummy, what are they doing?”

The mother hesitates then quickly replies “Ummm they are making cakes”.

The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkies having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, making cakes.

The next day the girl says to her mother “Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night eh?”

Shocked, the Mother says “how do you know?”

She says, “Because I licked the icing off the sofa”.

Un se�or llegua a un bar a las 9:00 pm, y le pide al cantinero una cerveza. Cuando termina, pide otra y as� sigue hasta las 11:00 pm.

El tipo casi borracho pide otra cerveza m�s, y de repente le entran las ganas de orinar, y para no llevarse la cerveza al ba�o escribe una nota diciendo: “ESCUPI EN LA CERVEZA”.

Cuando termina de hacer sus nececidades, y al regresar a su antiguo puesto, donde se localizaba la cerveza, encontra otra nota diciendo: “YO TAMBIEN.”

Does your organization struggle with the problem of properly fitting people to jobs? Here is a handy hint for ensuring success in job placement.

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

If they have taken the table apart in that time, put them in Engineering.

If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance.

If they are screaming and waving their arms, send them off to Manufacturing.

If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them.

If they are sleeping, they are Management material.

If they are writing up the experience, send them to Tech Pubs.

If they don’t even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security.

If they try to tell you it’s not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing.

And if they’ve left early, put them in Purchasing.