Author: admin

What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food?

Gaelic breath.

Yo’ mama so fat, she sat in a monster truck turned it into a lowrider!

(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of thegovernment to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.)–Always put staples in the right hand corner.Go ahead and put a down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from theenvelopes have to take out any staples in the right side.–Never arrange paperwork in the right order,or even facing the right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way theyhave to remove all your staples rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the leftside).–Line the bottom of your envelope withElmer’s glue and let it dry before you put in your forms, so that the automated openerdoesn’t open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.–If your very unfortunate and have to paytaxes use a two or three party check.–On top of paying with a three party checkpay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter howsmall an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.–Write a little letter of appreciation. Anyletter received has to read and stamped regardless of what it is or what it’s on.–Write your letter on something misshapen andunconventional. Like on the back of a Kroger sack.–When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope(even if its just a single EZi form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differentlythan regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they takepriority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess.–If you send 2 checks they’ll have to stapleyour unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form.–Always put extra paper clips on your forms.Any foreign fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away.–Sign your name in ink on every page. Anysignature has to verified and then date stamped.NOTE: These are just a few of the fun andexciting things you can do with The Man. These methods are only recommended when you owemoney

Tres exploradores se internaron en lo m�s profundo de la selva. Al tercer d�a fueron capturados por una tribu, que acostumbraba fabricar canoas con la piel de sus v�ctimas.

El jefe de la tribu les dice a los prisioneros que pueden pedir un �ltimo deseo. El primero, buscando ganar el mayor tiempo posible, le dice que quiere enviar un email a su esposa. El jefe sonr�e y lo invita a su choza y le muestra una computadora �ltimo modelo. Veinte minutos m�s tarde la piel del prisionero est� sec�ndose al sol en espera de ser convertida en una canoa.

El segundo se exprime el cerebro y dice que le gustar�a tocar la luna antes de morir. El jefe manda a dos personas al museo m�s cercano. Dos d�as despu�s regresan en sus canoas con un pedazo de roca de la luna. Media hora m�s tarde la piel del pobre prisionero es tendida cuidadosamente en espera de convertirse en una canoa.

El tercer prisionero pide un tenedor. El jefe se muestra extra�ado, pero accede a su �ltima voluntad. Entonces el prisionero grita: “Miren lo que hago con su puta canoa.” Y comienza a clavarse el tenedor por todo el cuerpo.

A tourist from the United States of America is at a restaurant in Havana. He tells the waiter that the USA is the best country in the world because of the freedoms it has. He says, “Take Freedom of Speech for example. I could stand in front of the White House in Washington D.C. and yell ‘President Bush is a bastard!’ and nothing would be done to me.”The Cuban waiter replies, “We have that same freedom in Cuba. I could stand in front of El Capital and yell the same thing and nothing would be done to me either!”

Un homosexual pasaba por una casa en construcci�n, y los alba�iles gritaron:

“�Adi�s maric�n!”

Y �l les respondi�:

“�Adi�s alba�ilotes feos, sucios y fuchis!”

Al d�a siguiente, volvi� a pasar por la misma obra, pero esta vez los alba�iles gritaron:

“�Adi�s mamacita!”

A lo que respondi�:

“�Hasta luego, se�ores arquitectos!”