What is a blondes way of safe sex?
Locking the car doors!
Author: admin
Nature is a mother.
Nature is a mother.
Hard to find kids books
‘You Were an Accident”Strangers Have the Best Candy”The Little Sissy Who Snitched”Some Kittens Can Fly!”Getting More Chocolate on Your Face”Where Would You Like to Be Buried?”Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her”The Attention Deficit Disorder Association’s Book of Wild Animals of North Amer- Hey! Let’s Go Ride Our Bikes!”All Dogs Go to Hell”The Kids’ Guide to Hitchhiking”When Mommy and Daddy Don’t Know the Answer They Say God Did It”Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia”What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?”Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?”Bi-Curious George”Daddy Drinks Because You Cry”Mister Policeman Eats His Service Revolver”You Are Different and That’s Bad”Dad’s New Wife Timothy”Pop! Goes The Hamster….And Other Great Microwave Games”Testing Homemade Parachutes With Nothing At All But Your Household Pets”The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad”Babar Meets the Taxidermist”Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence”The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables”Start a Real-Estate Empire With the Change From Your Mom’s Purse”The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy”Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will”The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead”How to Become The Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary School”Controlling the playground: Respect through Fear’
Flats
There is two flats facing a graveyard and a man dies and can not get in that graveyard do you know why?
because he was not dead yet.
by Kieran MacKenzie age 9
also creator of the IRA Garage
You’re so ugly…
You’re so ugly that when your mama dropped you off at school, she was arrested for littering!
Bin Laden’s Surprise
After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There he is greeted by George Washington.
“How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!” yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face. Patrick Henry comes up from behind: “You wanted to end the Americans’ liberty, so they gave you death!” Henry punches Osama on the nose. James Madison comes up next, and says, “This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!” He drops a large weight on Osama’s knee.
Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe and 65 other 18th-century American revolutionaries. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.
As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams, “This is not what I was promised!”
An angel replies: “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?”
****GM vs MICROSOFT*****
****GM vs MICROSOFT***** At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: ”If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon.”
In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr Welch himself):
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have tobuy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, andyou would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought ”Car95” or ”CarNT.” But then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per cent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single ”general car default” warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say ”Are you sure?” before going off.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You’d press the ”start” button to shut off the engine.
“Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this
Charlotte Whitton
E.T. is short for?
Question: What’s E.T. short for?
Answer: Because he has little legs!
Un grupo de chicas se
Un grupo de chicas se encuentra platicando; una de ellas se dirige a las dem�s y, con petulancia, les pregunta:
“�Por qu� le gustare tanto a los hombres? �Ser� por mi pelo?”
“No”, responden las amigas.
“Entonces, �ser� por mis ojos?”
“No”.
“�Por mi cuerpo?”
“No”.
“Me doy”, dice suspirando.
“�Acertaste!”, responden todas a coro.
Unique Rabbit
Q: How do you catch a unigue Rabbit
A: Unique up on it.
Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit
A: Tame way
The Creation of a Pussy…
The Creation of a Pussy
Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher, with smart wit,
using a knife, he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
by using red velvet, he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher, whose name was McGee,
touched it and blessed it, and said it could pee,
Last was a sailor, dirty little runt,
he sucked it and fucked it, and called it a cunt.