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Dennis Rodman

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Dennis Rodman finds a bottle on the beach and picks it up …suddenly a female genie appears from the bottle.
“Master, I may grant you one wish.” says the genie with a smile.

“Hey, Bitch… don’t you know who I am … I don’t need no woman give me nuttin!” barks Rodman.

The genie pleads…”But Master I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to this bottle forever.”

Dennis thinks a moment … then grumbling about the inconvenience of it all… he says “Ok, ok … I wanna wake up with three women in my bed in the morning. So just do it!” (giving the genie an evil glare) “Now leave me alone!” he screams.

So the annoyed genie says, “So be it!” and disappears back into the bottle.

Next morning, he wakes up with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton. His penis is gone, his leg is broken, and he has no health insurance.

A altas horas de la

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A altas horas de la noche en un parque, un borracho simulaba nadar en el pasto. En eso, en una de sus rondas, un polic�a lo observa y le pregunta qu� es lo que hace.

��Qu� no ve que estoy nadando?�

�Por favor, le pido que salga de ah�.

El borrach�n se niega y el polic�a insiste.

�Si quiere que me salga de aqu�, venga y s�queme�.

Exasperado, el oficial se quita los zapatos, se remanga la camisa y se sube las perneras del pantal�n, al mismo tiempo que exclama:

��Ni que estuviera tan hondo!�

Cured

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A woman went to her doctor’s office. She was seen by one of the new doctors,
but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and
ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she explained.
He had her sit down and relaxes in another room.

The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, “What’s the matter
with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven
grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?”

The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard.

“Cured her hiccups though, didn’t it?”

A Rabbi and a Priest

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A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbi
leans over and asks, “So how high can you advance in your organization?”
The Priest says “If I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop.”
“Well, could you get any higher than that?” asks the Rabbi.
“I suppose that if my works are seen in a very good light that I
might be made an Arch Bishop” said the Priest a bit cautiously.
“Is there any way that you might go higher than that?”
“If all the Saints should smile, I guess I could be made a Cardinal”,
said the priest.
“Could you be anything higher than a Cardinal?” probed the Rabbi.
Hesitating a little bit, the Priest said “I supose that I could
be elected Pope, but…”
So the Rabbi says “And could you be anything higher than that?, is
there any way to go up from being the Pope?”
“What!!! I should be the Messiah himself!?!”
The Rabbi leaned back and said “One of our boys made it.”
From [email protected] (Rambo) Wed Aug 28 12:40:51 1985
Newsgroups: net.jokes

Cheap Lunch

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar:

Cheese Sandwich: $1.50

Chicken Sandwich: $2.50

Hand Job: $10.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive londes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

“Yes?” she enquires with a knowing smile, “can I help you?”

“I was wondering”, whispers the man, “are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?”

“Yes”, she purrs, “I am.”

The man replies “Well wash your fucking hands, I want a cheese sandwich.”

Play on the words

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“Welcome to Entropy Burgers — may I take your order?””I put in disorder a long time ago. The service here is getting worse all the time.””My experience Gibbs me reason to believe you.””I know the waitress who asked that, too. Her name’s Ellen Omega. She really made me thermally dynamic. So, I asked her out. I tell you, when she don’t like you, she really Boltz, man. Women like that are never distributed normally among the population.””What kind of Poisson would say something like this?”