How do dumb blonde brain cells die?
Alone!!
Author: admin
Yo mama so fat…
Yo mama so fat when she went to the beach wearing a black swimsuit, a kid pointed and yelled, “There’s Willy!”
School
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. “Wake up, son.
It’s time to go to school!”
“But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.”
“Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”
“Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!”
“Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”
“Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”
“Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the
Principal!”
Euro-Englinsh
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year-phase in plan that would be known as ‘EuroEnglish’:
In the first year, ‘s’ will replace the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard ‘c’ will be dropped in favor of the ‘k’. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced with the ‘f’. This will make words like ‘fotograf’ 20 percent shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent ‘e’ in the language is disgraceful, and it should go away.
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’ and ‘w’ with ‘v’.
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaning ‘ou’ and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru!!
ELEPHANTS
Q. WHY DO ELEPHANTS HAVE 4 FEET? A.THEY WOULD LOOK SILLY WITH 6 INCHES.
How come they don’t let the little black kids…
How come they don’t let the little black kids play in the sandbox?
Cause the kittys keep trying to bury them.
Wondering eye
A Man with a wondering eye told his girlfriend that they need to see other people.
She asked why?
He said, because we dont see eye to eye.
A bear walked into a bar and said…
A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender, “I’ll have a pint of beer
and a packet of peanuts.”
The bar tender said, “Why the big paws?”
Jesus is watching You
A robber was shinning his torch around at some objects. “Jesus is watching you,” a voice said “Huh?, oh well,” the robber said and continued shinning his torch. “Jesus is watching you,” the voice continued. The robber shined his torch to were the voice came from and found a parrot. “Oh, it’s you,” the robber said. “I’m just trying to warn you,” the parrot said. “Oh, that’s nice,” the robber said, pretending to be scared, “what’s your name?” “Moses.” “Moses? What kind of idiot would call a parrot Moses?” “The same kind of idiot that would call a rottweiler Jesus!”
samalian priest
WHAT DO YOU CALL A SAMALIAN PRIEST??? HOLY SHIT
Life is what happens to
Life is what happens to you while you are planning to do something else.
Brilliant’s Observation On Modern Art:
Brilliant’s Observation On Modern Art: Not all our artists are playing a joke on the public. Some are genuinely mad.