A boat carrying blue paint and a boat carrying red paint collided in the middle of the ocean.
What happened to the crew?
They were marooned.
Author: admin
Men are like…
Men are like……marshmellows when they get hot they get all sticky!!!
School bus driver
This retarded kid is starting his first day of school. He walks down to the bus stop and waits for the bus to take him to school.
The bus eventually drives up and opens the door. “Hello Mr Schoolbus Driver” he says in a slurred voice.
Then the bus door closes and drives off without picking him up. He went back home, told his parents and figured he would try again.
The next morning, he stood at the bus stop, the bus came around and opened the door.
In a slurred voice the boy says ,”Hello Mr Busdriver!” To which the bus driver closed the door and drove off.
The boy went back to his parents and told them, to which they were majorly pissed off.
The next morning, they came down with the boy to the bus stop to talk to the driver.
The bus came past and the door opened. The father of the boy asks, “My boy needs to go to school each morning, but you keep closing the door and driving off, how come?”
The bus driver says in a slurred voice, “He keeps making fun of me!”
Three Kinds of Sex
The Three officially recognized kinds of sex are …
HOUSE SEX: When you’re newly married and have sex all over the house, in every room of the house.
BEDROOM SEX: After you’ve been married for a while and you just have sex in the bedroom.
HALLWAY SEX: After you’ve been married for many, many years and you just pass by each other in the hallway and say “Fuck You! ! !”
Not going to school
“I’m not going to school today,” Alexander said to his mother.
“The teachers bully me and the boys in my class don’t like me.”
“You’re going, and that’s final,” said his mother. “I’ll give you two good reasons why.”
“Why?” he asked.
“Firstly, you’re 35 years old. And secondly you’re the principal.”
Submitted by Frodo
Edited by Yisman
“The Megabrontothaurus Maximus was so large,…
“The Megabrontothaurus Maximus was so large, it’s shadow alone weighed
500 pounds”
from “Science Made Stupid”
by Tom Weller,
Published by Houghton Mifflin company
Blonde Kidnapper
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.”
She then wrote a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.”
The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”
12" dick
if a 12″ dick was coming out of your forehead would you see it? no the balls would be covering your eyelids.
Golfing With Cows
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a
five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. “Well, it was like
this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my
wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.
“We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed
one of the cows had something white at its rear end.
“I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was
my wife’s golf ball — stuck right in the middle of the cow’s
butt. That’s when I made my mistake.”
“What did you do?” asks the doctor.
“Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, ‘Hey, this looks
like yours!'”
A Jewish mother is walking down the street
A Jewish mother is walking down the street with her two young sons.
A passerby asks her how old the boys are.
“The doctor is three” the mother answers, “and the lawyer is two.”
BLONDIE
A blonde named Nancy was putting a puzzle together, after hours
of confusion Nancy asked her husband Jason for help.
“It’s supposed to be a tiger”,she explained in frustration.
“Honey.”, replied Jason.”Put the frosted flakes back in the box.”
Ha muerto Don Nicanor y
Ha muerto Don Nicanor y la gente lo esta velando.U na mujer al mirar el cad�ver ve que el finado ten�a un pene super grande, se da vuelta y le comenta a una amiga:
“Mira, igualito al de mi marido.”
El marido mas atr�s escucha esto y saca pecho. La amiga sorprendida dice:
“�As� de grande?”
“No, as� de muerta.”