Author: admin

One day this fellow noticed that a new couple had moved into the house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked to sunbathe in the backyard, usually in a skimpy bikini that showed off a magnificent pair of breasts. He made it a point to water and trim his lawn as much as possible, hoping for yet another look.

Finally, he could stand it no more. Walking to the front door of the new neighbour’s house, he knocked and waited. The husband, a large, burly man, opened the door. “Excuse me,” the man stammered, “But I couldn’t help noticing how beautiful your wife is.”

“Yeah? So?” his hulking neighbour replied.

“Well, in particular, I am really struck by how beautiful her breasts are. I would gladly pay you ten thousand dollars if I could kiss those breasts.”

The burly gorilla is about to deck our poor guy when his wife appears and stops him. She pulls him inside and they discuss the offer for a few moments. Finally, they return and ask our friend to step inside.

“OK,” the husband says gruffly, “For ten thousand dollars you can kiss my wife’s breasts.”

At this the wife unbuttons her blouse, and the twin objects of desire hang free at last. Our man takes one in each hand, and proceeds to rub his face against them in total ecstasy. This goes on for several minutes, until the husband gets annoyed.

“Well, come on already, kiss ’em!” he growls.

“I can’t,” replies our awe-struck man, still nuzzling away.

“Why not?” demands the husband, getting really angry now.

“I don’t have ten thousand dollars.”

1. Words can’t describe your outfit, so I’ll just throw up
2. They can’t measure your intellegect. The scale won’t go that low.
3. Apperances can be deceiving. Or in your case, disgusting.
4. I promist not to make fun of your height. I wouldn’t stoop to that.
5. I’m glad you’re tall. It gives me more to not like about you.
6. I think you stepped on something smelly. Oh its your feet.
7. I’ve seen tables with nicer looking legs.
8. Are you going to eat that apple, or gum it to death.
9. You’re mouths the perfect size…for your foot.
10. I’ve seen a nose like yours before, but it lookes better on the baboon
11. You know what I like about your face? Me neither.
12. You know what goes best with a face like yours? A paper bag.
13. Why don’t you do something different with your hair, like wash it.
14. You’re a person or rare intelligence…its rare you show any.
15. You’ll never use your mind. You can’t use something you’ve never had.
16. You’ve made this date one I’ll never forget…no matter how hard I try
to forget
17. I know why they call this a “blind date”…now that I’ve seen you…I
wish I was blind.
18. You’re like disposable diapers…always getting dumped on.
19. SOMEONE ELSE: “What are you doing Friday night?”
YOU: “Trying to forget you asked me that.

20. SOMEONE ELSE: “What’s he/she got that I haven’t?”
YOU: “You want it alphibetically?”

21. I’ve seen better looking hair in my shower drain.
22. I’ve seen better looking hair in my grandma’s nose.

Actual Label Instructions

On can of wet cat food:
This is not for humans!

On a Kennmore washing machine box:
Take clothes off before washing
( Dang! Kids get out of the washer! )

On a tube of toothpaste:
Best results if used on teeth.

Resulta que Manolo se encuentra durmiendo, cuando de pronto suena su tel�fono a las 3 de le ma�ana; todo desvelado y con sue�o contesta:

“�Hola?”

Y una voz le dice: “Ho…la…ya…s�…ha…blar”.

Y Manolo todo furioso le contesta:

“�Qu�, me llamas a las 3 de la ma�ana para decirme que ya aprendiste a hablar, desgraciada!”

“�Es…que…soy…una…va…ca!”