how many animals can you fit in a condom. i dont know how many . 2bulls 1snake and as many hares as you can count.
Author: admin
PUSH
TWO people where sreaming push! pull!
when I went in I found them makig love an dthe woman was pulling and the man was pushing!
later they did hard core and did a blow job!!!
Caned blond
what do you call a blond in a can
sex in a can
Superman and Friends
One afternoon Superman was out flying around. Crime was slow that day, so he decided to go over to Spiderman’s house.
Supe: “Hey Spidey, let’s go get a burger and a beer!”
Spidey: “No can do, Supe. I’ve got a problem with my Web-shooter. Can’t fight crime tomorrow without it”.
So Superman heads over to the Bat Cave.
Supe: “Hey, Batman! Let’s go get a burger and a beer!”
Batman: “Not today, my friend. The BatMobile is down and it’s gotta be fixed. Can’t fight crime tomorrow without it”
Disgruntled, Superman takes to the air. Cruising around, he flies over a penthouse apartment balcony where none other than Wonder Woman is lying, spread-eagle and stark-naked. Supe gets a brilliant idea: “They’ve always said I’m faster than a speeding bullet and I’ve always wondered what she’d be like with all her Wonder Powers.”
So he zooms down, does her in a flash and is gone before anyone can notice. All of a sudden Wonder Woman sits up and says, “What was that!?!”
The Invisible Man gets off her and replies, “I don’t know, but my ass hurts like hell!”
Getting your dog into a bar
Note to the civilized world: They don’t let dogs into bars in the US.————————–Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll with their dogs… One had a Doberman pinscher and the other had a Chihuahua. As they sauntered down the street, the guy with the Doberman said to his friend, “Let’s go over to that bar and get something to drink.”The guy with the Chihuahua said, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.”The one with the Doberman said, “Just follow my lead.”They walked over to the bar and the guy with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in. The bouncer at the door said, “Sorry, Mac, no pets allowed.”The man with the Doberman said, “You don’t understand. This is my Seeing-Eye dog.”The bouncer said, “A Doberman pinscher ?”The man said, “Yes, they’re using them now. They’re very good.”The bouncer said, “OK, come on in.”The buddy with the Chihuahua figured what the heck’, so he put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.Once again the bouncer said, “Sorry, pal, no pets allowed.”The man with the Chihuahua said, “You don’t understand. This is my Seeing-Eye dog.”The bouncer said, “A Chihuahua ?”The man with the Chihuahua said, “A Chihuahua ?……. They gave me a Chihuahua ?!”
Paging John Edward
There was this couple, Mary and John, who believed they would return in
another life.
They got married and, as part of their wedding vows, promised that if one
died, the other would attend a s�ance exactly four weeks later and contact the
other.
Twenty happy years later, the man dies, and the woman, Mary, sticks to her vow
and visits a s�ance four weeks later. It went something like this:
Mary: “Is there anybody there? I’m seeking my deceased husband John. Is he
there?”
Strange, booming voice: “Mary? Is that you, Mary?”
Mary: “Yes John, is that you?”
John: “Yes, it’s me.”
Mary: “How are things where you are, John? What’s it like?”
John: “Great, Mary. Everyday after breakfast we make love until lunchtime,
which lasts about half-hour, and then we make love until dinner. After dinner,
we make love until we fall asleep. It’s great. I can’t wait until you get
here.”
Mary (shocked): “Is that what Heaven’s like?”
John: “I’m not in Heaven.”
Mary (fearing the worst): “Then where are you?”
John: “I’m a rabbit in Florida!”
Lost in the Desert
Two friends get lost during a hiking trip through the desert. Several days later they are dehydrated, exhausted and starving.
Out of nowhere, they see a tree in the distance that appears to be covered with bacon. One guy sprints ahead, only to be gunned down in a hail of gunfire.
“Run!” the dying man yells out. “It’s not a bacon tree. It’s a ham bush!”
Jack Kevorkian for White House
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician
Lying Congressmen
A pair of congressmen met for lunch to hash out their political differences.
Ten minutes into the meal, one angrily pounded the table. “You’re lying!” he
shouted.
“Of course I’m lying,” the other said, “but hear me out.”
Big Trouble
A couple had two little boys ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous.
They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any
mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.
The boys’ mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in
disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The
clergyman agreed but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her
8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the
afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger
boy down and asked him sternly, “Where is God?”
They boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his
mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even
sterner tone, “Where is God!!?” Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the
clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and
bellowed, “WHERE IS GOD!?”
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his
closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the
closet, he asked, “What happened?”
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this
time, dude. God is missing – and they think WE did it!”
She is a George Bush fan.
A first grade teacher in a small town in Texas explains to her class that
she is a George Bush fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they
are Bush fans too. Not really knowing what a Bush fan is,
but wanting to be liked by the teacher, their hands fly into the air.
There is, however, one exception. A little boy named Mike has not gone along
with the crowd.
The teacher asks him why he has decided to be different.
“Because I’m not a Bush fan” he retorts. “Then,” asks the teacher “what are
you?”
“I’m a proud Al Gore fan!” boasts the little boy. The teacher is a little
perturbed now,
her face slightly red. She asks Mike why he is a Gore fan
“Well, my Dad and Mom are Gore fans, so I’m a Gore fan too” he responds.
The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly.
“What if your Mom was a moron, and your Dad was an idiot.
What would you be then?” Mike says, “Then I’d be a Bush fan.”
3 beers
There is a man in a bar who has three bottles of beer. He takes
a gulp from one, then the other, and the other over and over
again. The bartender sees this and asks him why he is doing it.
The man replies saying,”My two brothers and I made a pact that
we would drink a beer for each other.”
“Oh” As time went by it seemed to become a ritual. Then one day
the man only had two beers instead of 3. The same bartender
asked him,”why are you only drinking two instead of three?” The
man said,”I quit drinking.”