how many animals can you fit in a condom. i dont know how many . 2bulls 1snake and as many hares as you can count.
Author: admin
String Joke
A string walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender replies “I’m sorry, We don’t serve strings”
The string, angry, runs to the bathroom and ties himself up into knots until his ends are frayed.
Then he walks back out and asks the bartender for a drink.
“Hey, aren’t you the string I just talked to?” The bartender asks.
“Nope,” Says the string, “I’m afraid not.” (a frayed knot)
Mancunian
Q: What do you call a Mancunian with no arms and legs?
A: Trustworthy.
Santa Claus
Once upon a time there was a perfect woman, and a perfect man. One day they met and fell in love. As the time past on this perfect couple they got married. After a perfect wedding they got in their perfect car and starting driving up a perfect winding road and then they realized a man up ahead in distresse. It turned out to be Santa Claus. Being the perfect couple in all they decided to pick Santa Claus up and deliver toys around the world since it was Christmas Eve. As they were delivering toys there was a big car crash only one of the three people survived. Was it The Perfect Woman, The Perfect Man, or Santa Claus?
If you chose the Perfect Woman then you are correct because everyone knows that there is no such thing as Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a pefect man!
Lying Congressmen
A pair of congressmen met for lunch to hash out their political differences.
Ten minutes into the meal, one angrily pounded the table. “You’re lying!” he
shouted.
“Of course I’m lying,” the other said, “but hear me out.”
Beer lover
A Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub.
They proceed to each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling, “SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!”
Submitted by Clark Kent
Edited by Curtis
Boxer Dog
Q:What dog goes into a corner everytime a bell rings?
A:A Boxer Dog
People that are really
“People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a
tremendous impact on history.”
…George W. Bush
Caned blond
what do you call a blond in a can
sex in a can
Q: Why is a tree like a dog?
A: Because they both lose their bark when they die.
Poop
did you ever eat poop
Answer from Heaven
A little boy wanted $100 so badly that he prayed for two weeks. But nothing happened; so he decided to write God a letter asking for the money. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to “GOD, USA”, hey decided to send it to President Clinton. Bill was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5 bill.
The little boy was delighted with the $5, and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read; “Dear God, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had it sent through Washington, DC, and as usual, those guys deducted $95.”