Unemployment helps stretch your coffee break.
Author: admin
Hey do you know whats grosser than gross?
whats grosser than gross ?
Sittin on your grampas lap when he pops a boner.but you know whats grossr than that dreaming of eating pudding and waking up when a spoon in your ass,But however,what is grosser than all that,two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon,but whats grosser than that?one of them whens
If a system is administered wisely
If a system is administered wisely,
its users will be content.
They enjoy hacking their code
and don’t waste time implementing
labor-saving shell scripts.
Since they dearly love their accounts,
they aren’t interested in other machines.
There may be telnet, rlogin, and ftp,
but these don’t access any hosts.
There may be an arsenal of cracks and malware,
but nobody ever uses them.
People enjoy reading their mail,
take pleasure in being with their newsgroups,
spend weekends working at their terminals,
delight in the doings at the site.
And even though the next system is so close
that users can hear its key clicks and biff beeps,
They are content to die of old age
Without ever having gone to see it.
Sister for Trade
Boy walks into pet store and says “May I get a dog for my
sister?” The Pet store owner looks at him and his sister and
says, “Sorry buddy, we don’t accept trades…”
Sale la pareja de reci�n
Sale la pareja de reci�n casados del sal�n de celebraciones y al ir a montar al coche todos empiezan a gritar:
“�Arriba la novia! �Arriba el novio!”
Un invitado que no entend�a que se trataba de gritos de j�bilo, replic�:
“�Dejad a ellos que lo hagan como mejor les plazca!”
Bill Clinton finds a magic lamp. He rubs…
Bill Clinton finds a magic lamp. He rubs it and out comes a genie.
The genie gives Bill one wish.
Bill pulls out a map with many red marks on it
and says “I’d like peace in these areas.”
The genie says “You are asking too much of me.
Even I can’t bring peace to all these areas.”
Bill says “Ok. Well just make Chelsea beautiful.”
And the genie says “Let me see that map again.”
Keep A Man From Wanting Sex
How do you keep a man from wanting sex?
You marry him!
You Might Be A Redneck Jedi Knight If…
You ever uttered the phrase, “May the force be with y’all�.
Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Boone’s Farm
Strawberry Hill.
At least one wing of your X-wing is primer colored.
You have bathe horns on the front of your land speeder.
You describe the taste of an Wok as “jus’ like chicken.”
You have ever had a B-wing up on blocks in your yard.
The worst part of spending time on planet Deborah is “them dad gum skitters.”
Your BO offends woolies.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you wouldn’t have
to wait for a commercial.
Your father has ever said to you, “Shoot, son, come on over to the dark
side…it’ll be a hoot!”
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to
get the barbecue grill to light.
You have a confederate flag painted on your flight helmet.
You ever fantasized about Princess Leila wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through
the window.
You kind of think that Jabber the Hut had a pretty good handle on how to treat
his women.
You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader’s evil empire “them damn
Yankees�.
You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
In your opinion, that Cee-Threepio fellow “just isn�t right�.
You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a Lazy-Boy
recliner.
The REAL reason you got into a fight in the cantina was because you
ordered Bud Light…and they didn’t have it.
You knew Princess Leila was your sister all along.
Beckham and Posh Spice
Q: What do Beckham and Posh Spice both have in common?
A: Both are f**ing bad singers!!!
Yo mama is so stupid
Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
Blondes Making Kool-Aid
Why don’t blondes like making Kool-Aid?
Because they can’t fit eight cups of water in the little packet.
Incurable Disease
A guy goes to the doctor and the doctor tells him, “I have some very bad news for you. I’m afraid that you’re afflicted with a fatal and incurable disease.”So the guy asks, “Well isn’t there ANYTHING I can do, doc?””Hmmm… maybe you should go to a spa and start taking daily mud baths.” The doctor tells the patient.”Mud baths? Will that help me, doc?””Probably not… but at least you’ll get used to being covered in dirt!”