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Sale la pareja de reci�n casados del sal�n de celebraciones y al ir a montar al coche todos empiezan a gritar:
“�Arriba la novia! �Arriba el novio!”
Un invitado que no entend�a que se trataba de gritos de j�bilo, replic�:
“�Dejad a ellos que lo hagan como mejor les plazca!”
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
There is this man sitting on the beach. A woman comes up to him
and asks “whats that.” The man replies “oh thats just my bird.”
So the woman walks off and the man goes to sleep. The man then
wakes up an hour or two later and he realizes that his groin
hurts. He goes to the docter to ask whats wrong with him and
they dont know. So the man thinks that maybe if he goes back to
the beach he can ask the people around him what happened to him.
As soon as he returns to the beach he catches up to the woman
that asked what *that* was. So he goes and asks her if she knows
what happened. She says “I tried to pet your bird, but it spit
on me. So I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and burnt his
nest.”
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Odysseus!
Odysseus who?
Odysseus the last straw!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ogre!
Ogre who?
Ogre take a flying leap!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ohio!
Ohio who?
Ohio Silver!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ohio!
Ohio who?
Ohio feeling!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Okra!
Okra who?
Okra Winfrey!
Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?
A: Studying their Miranda Rights.
A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party
everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day
and age.
The husband responded “When we were first married we came to an agreement. I
would make all the major decisions and my wife would make all of the minor
decisions.
And now after 60 years of marriage I can truthfully say that we have never
needed to make a MAJOR decision.”
Why do did the women cross the street? Thats not the point why wasnt she in the kitchen
If a system is administered wisely,
its users will be content.
They enjoy hacking their code
and don’t waste time implementing
labor-saving shell scripts.
Since they dearly love their accounts,
they aren’t interested in other machines.
There may be telnet, rlogin, and ftp,
but these don’t access any hosts.
There may be an arsenal of cracks and malware,
but nobody ever uses them.
People enjoy reading their mail,
take pleasure in being with their newsgroups,
spend weekends working at their terminals,
delight in the doings at the site.
And even though the next system is so close
that users can hear its key clicks and biff beeps,
They are content to die of old age
Without ever having gone to see it.
You know how most packages say “Open here”. What is the protocol if
the package says, “Open somewhere else”?
Q: What do Beckham and Posh Spice both have in common?
A: Both are f**ing bad singers!!!
Q: Why did the blonde girl have bruises on her belly button ?
A:Because it turns out blonde boys arent that smart either.
Unemployment helps stretch your coffee break.