Author: admin

A lady walks into the Gynecologist office and says, “I have a problem. I have extremely big pussy lips. I’d like to get an operation but don�t tell anyone because I am embarrassed about my problem.”

The doctor agrees and gives her the operation.

The next day while sitting in the recovery room, she gets three roses delivered.

She runs to her doctor and says, “Doctor I thought I told you not to tell anyone. Who sent me these roses?”

The doctor replies, “The first one is from me because I felt sorry about your problem. The second is from the nurse who had the same problem you had. The third one is from the guy upstairs in the burns unit thanking you for his new ears!”

Submitted by Glaci
Editted by Blueindiansquaw

A Koala bear walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich.

The Koala eats the sandwich, gets up, spins around, pulls a pistol out of his pouch, shoots the piano player, and proceeds to walk out of the bar.

The bartender, in shock, shouts to the Koala, “Hey, who do you think you are, you ate my sandwich and shot my piano player, and just where do you think you’re going!?”

The Koala replies, “Hey, I’m a Koala. Look it up.”

The frustrated bartender pulls out a dictionary from behind the bar and looks up Koala:

The dictionary said “n. a marsupial that eats shoots and leaves.”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman

Jesus, Moses, and an old man were playing golf one day.

Jesus stepped up to the tee, swung, but caught a real bad slice and the ball caught hard left straight into the pond.

“No problem!” he said, and then made the ball rise so he could walk out on the pond, and chip it right onto the green.

“Not bad, young fella!” Said Moses. But he suffered the same fate dropping the ball into the pond.

Stepping to the edge, he parted the water, stepped in and chipped it onto the green.

Finally the old man steps up. not quite certain on how the game was played, tees off.

The ball also caught hard to the left, and straight to the pond.

Before the ball hit, a fish dove out and ate it, but before entering the water again, a bird swoops down and eats the fish.

Flying over the green, the bird coughs up the fish, when the fish hit the green, the ball popped out, onto the green and rolled right into the cup!

“Hooray!!! A hole in one!!!” Cried the old man.

Then Jesus steps up and says, “Dad! stop messing around, and play golf!”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo

Unos viejitos despu�s de pasar una noche placentera se re�nen en el comedor y el viejito le dice: “viejita, viejita… Te cuento que anoche sucedi� un milagro.”

La viejta responde, “�Qu� milagro?”

“Ayer en la madrugada me despert�, fui al ba�o y se prendi� la luz, hice mis necesidades, sal� del ba�o, cerr� la puerta y se apag� la luz. M�s tarde regres� al ba�o, abr� la puerta y se prendi� la luz, hice mis necesidades, cerr� la puerta y se apag� la luz…”

La viejita le responde, “Fuera, viejo cojudo. Otra vez te cagaste en el refrigerador.”