Murphy was selling his house, and put the matter in an agent’s hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading.After Murphy read it, he turned to the agent and asked, “Have I got all you say there?”The agent said, “Certainly ye have…Why do you ask? “Murphy replied, “Cancel the sale…its too good to part with.”
Author: admin
yo moma so fat and stinky:that when she farted…
yo moma so fat and stinky:that when she farted the human race became extincint
Talking With Your Body
A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can’t find the rake. He yells up to his wife, “Where is the rake?” She can’t hear him and shouts back, “What?”
The man first points to his eye, then points to his knee and finally makes a raking motion.
The wife is not sure and says, “What?” The man repeats his gestures. “EYE KNEE THE RAKE”
The wife replies that she understands and signals back. She first points to her eye, then points to her left breast, then points to her butt, and finally to her crotch.
Well, the man has no clue on that one. Exasperated, he goes upstairs and asks her, “What in the friggin’ hell was that?”
She replies, “EYE – LEFT TIT – BEHIND – THE BUSH”.
You might be a Republican if…
You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.
On the steps of this
On the steps of this church two pan handlers were doing their daily business.
One wore a large cross on his chest and the other – a star of David.
Of course, most of the church goers generously gave to the cross wearer and
the other was overlooked. Finally the Pastor approached the Jew and
suggested that if he take off the star of David maybe he’d get some more
hand outs.
“Get this guy,” laughs the pan handler and turns to his cross wearing pal,
“Trying to teach us how to do business!”
Sex is like air, it’s
Sex is like air, it’s not important until you aren’t getting any!
to much testosterone
A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone (a male hormone) for her. She was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing.
“Doctor, the hormones you’ve been giving me have really helped, but I’m afraid that you’re giving me too much. I’ve started growing hair in places that I’ve never grown hair before.” The doctor reassured her.
“A little hair growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone. Just where has this hair appeared?”
“On my balls.”
Criminal law
What do you call a person who assists a criminal in breaking the law before the criminal gets arrested? An accomplice. What do you call a person who assists a criminal in breaking the law after the criminal gets arrested? A lawyer.
He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the
How did the blonde explain how his helicopter crashed?
He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.
It is not how someone
It is not how someone measures up. It is how they measure you.
Eggbeat
Q.Do you know what happened to the egg that was taking a stroll through the Bronx?
A.He got beat up
Dos mexicanos fueron contratados para
Dos mexicanos fueron contratados para arreglar los jardines de la central de cohetes de la NASA en Houston. A la hora del lunch, �stos acostumbraban tomar un trago o dos de tequila para completar la faena animados. Un d�a, uno de ellos se encontr� un garraf�n con el combustible utilizado en las cosmonaves, y se le ocurri� agregarle al tequila unas gotas para ver que se sent�a. Despu�s del almuerzo, los amigos regresaron al trabajo cada uno por su lado. De pronto, el tel�fono celular (m�vil) de uno de ellos suena:
“Compadre, despu�s de que nos tomamos el tequila, �se ha echado alguna flatulencia?”, le pregunta el otro, que era el que llamaba.
“No, compadre”, responde el del tel�fono.
“�Ni la suelte, compadre, le estoy hablando desde Buenos Aires, Argentina!”, le advierte emocionado el otro.