A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s get off the corner people.”A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, “Let’s get off that corner… NOW!”Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, “Well, how did I do?”Pretty good,” chuckled the vet, “especially since this is a bus stop.”
Author: admin
Quote on Monica
What did Clinton say when commenting on Monica?
She has the whitest teeth I’ve ever cum across.
Urinate…
A Third Grade teacher asks her class to use a three syllable
word in a sentance. Three students raise their hands… the
third one was dirty Johnny. The teacher ignores his waving hand
and calls on Sally.
“Beautiful,” Sally says. “My teacher is beautiful!” “Why, thank
you Sally,” the teacher laughs. “Anyone else?”
Again three students raise their hands including dirty Johnny,
and once again the teacher ignores his hand. She calls on Darcy.
“Wonderful. My teacher is wonderful!” Once again the teacher
thanks her little students and asks for more hands.
This time the only hand raised is little Johnny’s. So the
teacher reluctantly calls on him. “Urinate,” yells Johnny.
“Johnny!,” says the teacher, “That was very rude!” “Urinate, but
if your tits were bigger you’d be a ten!”
Men writing the rules
If Men Were to Rewrite “The Rules”Rule # 1 Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. Rule # 2 If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way. Rule # 3 It is in neither your best interest nor ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.
Era una vez una mujer
Era una vez una mujer que no ten�a tetas y viv�a muy atribulada por eso. Una vez fue donde un mago de la provincia para ver qu� pod�a hacer para que las tetas le crecieran. El mago le dijo que fuera donde el Rey y le preguntara si se quer�a casar con ella. Cada vez que le dijera que NO le iban a crecer dos pulgaditas.
Ese mismo d�a fue donde el Rey y le pregunt�:
“�Rey! �Usted se quiere casar conmigo?”
A lo que el Rey respondi�: “No.”
Inmediatamente �plum! dos pulgaditas. Al otro d�a fue donde el mismo Rey y le pregunt�:
“�Rey! �Usted se quiere casar conmigo?”
“No.”
�Plum! dos pulgaditas adicionales. Al otro d�a fue donde el mismo Rey y le pregunt�:
“�Rey! �Usted se quiere casar conmigo?”
“No.”
�Plum! dos pulgaditas adicionales. Al otro d�a se levanta la se�ora y dice:
“Bueno, quiero dos pulgaditas adicionales.”
As� que va donde el mismo Rey y le repite su pregunta. El Rey responde:
“�Mire, carajo! �No, no, no y mil veces NO!”
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Chicken’s day off.
Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com
Diff Between Gender Dreams
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating
hunger. What do men dream of?
Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
Irishman englishman scotsman
irishman englishman scotsman in a bar discussing their daughters.englishman says”i thought i knew my daughter but the other day i went in her room and found a bottle of vodka under her bed! i didnt even know she drank!” scotsman says” u think thats bad? i went in my daughters room yesterday and found 20 ciggies at the side of her bed! i didnt even know she smoked!” the irishman piped up” u think thats bad do u? i went in my daughters room last nite and found a packet of condoms on the floor! i didnt even know she had a dick!!!!!!”
How many sexual deviants does it take to screw…
How many sexual deviants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One but it takes the entire cast of E.R. to get it out.
Redneck computer term
Hacker – Uncle Leroy after thirty years of smoking.
artificial inseminat
After much soul searching and having determined the husband was infertile, the childless couple decided to try artificial insemination. When the woman showed up at the clinic, she was told to undress from the waist down, get on the table and place her feet in the stirrups.
She was feeling rather awkward about the entire procedure when the doctor came in. Her anxiety was not diminished by the sight of him pulling down his pants! “Wait a minute! What the hell is going on here?” yelped the woman, pulling herself into a sitting position.
“Don’t you want to get pregnant?” asked the doctor. “Well, yes, I do,” answered the woman.
“Then lie back and spread ’em,” replied the doctor. “We’re all out of the bottled stuff. You’ll just have to settle for what’s on tap.”
Top 10 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of A Britney Spears Concert
10. Say Christina Aguilera can whup her ass any day9. Lay her for free (Sorry, that’s something that’ll automatically get you IN to a Britney Spears concert)8. Try to pass yourself off as the opening act7. Make fun of Justin Timberlake6. Give her a wedgie5. Pass around pictures of her when she was in the Mickey Mouse Club4. Have legitimate proof that she got breast implants3. Bust her lip-synching2. Point out that her initials are BS1. Wait a minute…why the hell would anyone want to go to a Britney Spears concert in the first place?