Yours Fun Portal !
IACOCCA (the former Chrysler President/CEO)stands for:
I
Am
Chairman
Of
Chrysler
Corporation
America
Bush (the American President):
Beat
Up
Saddam
Hussein
Clinton (remember him?):
Call
Lewinsky,
I
Need
The
Oral
Now
However, no one can beat this latest casualty in bad naming.
Osama (WHO doesn’t know him):
Oh
Shit,
American
Missiles
Again
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
Yo mama so fat that when she went to jump in the ocean the ocean jump out and said, “No way! There’s not enough room for us both!”
Why do so few men end up in heaven?
They never stop to ask for directions.
A man goes out one day to do a bit of duck hunting. He lives on
the state lines of Kentucky, West Virginia, and Ohio, so he
starts out in Ky. He gets a little bored of his surroundings
after bagging a few and moves to Ohio try his luck in that area
of the woods. Here he gets pretty lucky and grabs quite a few
and as he aproached his limit he decides it’s time to head on
over to West Virginia. After crossing the state line he gets
set up and along comes a police officer to see how the catch has
been. The officer walks up and says “first I need to see your
hunt’in liscense.” The hunter hands it over and the officer
sees it’s legit and takes a look at the ducks. He picks up the
first, smells it’s ass and says “This is a kentucky duck, you
gotta kentucky liscense?” The hunter hands it over, and the
officer goes on to the next duck. He picked it up and says,
“This here’s a Ohio duck, you gotta ohio liscence?” The hunter
a bit annoyed hands it, too, over for the officer’s inspection.
After this the officer hands it back smiling and says, “well,
everything seems to be in order, so have you a nice day, but by
the way, where you from?” With a little agrivation in his voice
the hunter returns “try smelling my ass and tell me!!”
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said “Taxi!”
What is the difference between a mistress, a prostitute, and a wife?
The mistress says, “Are you through yet?”
The prostitute says, “Are you through already?”
The wife says, “Beige, I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige.”
Submitted by fairytales64
Edited by Curtis and calamjo
You’re a redneck if…. You think the best way to keep things cold is to
levees in the shade.
Q: Why do black women were high heels?
A: So there their knuckles dont drag!
What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
MMmmmm, tastes like chicken!
There was a brunette, red head, and a blonde and they were going to swim across the English Channel using the breast stroke. It takes one day and one hour to swim across the channel. It took the brunette one day and one hour. It took the red head onr day and three hours. Three days later the blonde comes in and everyone asks her waht took her so long and she said i think the other two cheated because they used their arms!!!!!!
As twins were getting married, on the same day, they couldn’t
find a place for their hunny moon. So they asked their mom
where they should go. The mom said they should stay at her
house for a few days. SO, the first night went by and the mom
went up to the doors and said to the first girl, “hunny are you
in there?” The gurl replied, “Yes!” The mom went to the second
grls door and said, “Hunny are you in there?” She replied “OOH
YESS!” So the next night she went to the rooms and said to the
first grl “Hunny are you in there?” She replied “OH YES OH YES”
The mom went to the second grl and said “HUNNY are you in
there?” There was no answer and so the mom asked in the
morning.. “Why didn’t you answer me last night?” The grl
replied, “Mom, you told me never to talk w/ my mouth full!”
HaHa* Rate My Joke!*
Q: How many Apple and IBM nuts does it take to change a lightbulb?A: An infinite number: nothing useful gets done while they’re arguing. Finally a disgusted generic computer user (who will use any type that is in front of him) gets up and changes the bulb, elbowing the participants aside. The size of the crowd arguing seems to be a function of time, although whether or not the function is exponential is not known.