Author: admin

Estaba el padre en la Iglesia, cuando de pronto llega una ciega, �ste la ve y le pregunta:

“Buenos d�as, hija, �qu� se te ofrece?”

La ciega le dice:

“Padre, estoy muy triste, nadie me quiere, soy fea, ciega, nadie quiere ser mi pareja y nadie quiere tener sexo conmigo.”

“Hija, como tu eres ciega y realmente est�s fea, s�lo te ayudar�a un milagro, pero conf�a en Dios y te ayudar�.”

La ciega, m�s triste que nunca, sale de la iglesia, va caminando por las calles muy insegura, cuando por accidente se sube a un puente. Como era ciega, se desorient� y se cay� del alto puente.

Afortunadamente, la ciega cay� en un cami�n lleno de pl�tanos, y empez� a tocar con las manos a sus alrededores para saber d�nde hab�a ca�do, cuando de pronto sorprendida dice:

“�Ay, chicos, uno a la vez, uno a la vez!”

Three men are found in the wilderness by civilized cannibals. The men are led to a gravesite next to the water. “You have two choices of death,” says the chief.”We either will kill you as a coward, or we will let you die honarable deaths for your homelands. You choose the weapon. Either way, your skins will be used to make our canoes.” The first man, a soldier at heart, asks for a handgun. With this shoots himself. The next man, a warrior at heart, he uses a Japanese katana to commit seppuku as a Japanese man. The last man asks for a fork. He stabs himself repeatedly in the chest.”I HOPE YOUR CANOE SINKS!”

A person went to church every week, but feel asleep during the
sermon and the women said.. “next time you fall asleep I’m going
to stick this pen up your ass” and he did fall asleep, the father
Began a story and said “Does anyone know what so and so said then?”
and the women had just stuck the pen up the guys ass as he stood up
and say “Hallelujah! ” and then the father said Correct my son..

the next week as the father asked another question, the guy was jabbed
with the pen and Stood up to say “AMEN!” and the father said “Right again
my son..”

the next week the father began to talk about Adam and eve, he said
what did eve say to Adam after their 10th child? and the guy
was jabbed with the pen again and he stood up to yell very loudly
“Shove that thing up my ass one more time and I’ll rap it around your
face!” and the father said, no I’m sorry, anyone else?

What do you call Vaseline in German?
Vienerschlide.

The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts were in a three-way plane crash over the Pacific Ocean. They all died and went to heaven together.

“Oh, this is terrible,” exclaims St. Peter, “I know you guys think we summoned you here, but this is just one of those coincidences that happen. Since we weren’t expecting you, your quarters just aren’t ready… We can’t take you in and we can’t send you back.”

Then he got an idea. He picked up the phone, “Lucifer, this is Pete. Hey, I got these three guys up here. They’re ours, but we weren’t expecting them, and we gotta fix the place up for ’em. I was hoping you could put them up for a while. It’ll only be a couple of days. What d’ya say?”

Reluctantly, the Devil agreed.

However, Two days later St. Peter got a call. “Pete, this is Lucifer. Hey you gotta come get these three clowns. This Pope fellow is forgiving everybody, the Graham guy is saving everybody, and that Oral Roberts has raised enough money to buy air conditioning!”