Author: admin

Baking Cakes

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One day johnny walked across a public park and saw two teenagers
having sex on the bench.
He asked his mother what they were upto and she hurriedly
replied, “they`re making cakes”
Puzzeled little johnny walked on.
Later at the zoo he saw two monkeys having sex.
again he asked his mother what they were upto and she said “they
are making cakes”
Still puzzelled johnny walked on.

A day later johnny went upto his mother and asked whether she
and his father were making cakes on the living room couch at
night,embarrased the mother asked ,”why”
And little johnny replied, “aw nothing you just left some icing
on the couch”!!!

Stolen engine

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A blonde woman is driving a Porsche. She sees
another blonde woman with a Porsche that has
broken down on the side of the road. She stops to
ask what’s wrong.

The owner of the broken Porsche
said, ‘I just had a look under the hood, well,
while I was driving somebody had stolen the
engine.’

The other said, ‘Oh, don’t wory, I have a spare
one in the back of my Porsche.

Big Game Mishap

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A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.The wife said, ”What are we going to do?” ”Nothing,” said the hunter, ”The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.”

Radio Game

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This story occurred on Melbourne radio last week. One of the FM stations has a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three personal questions, ring their spouse or partner, ask them the same three questions, if the answers are the same, the couple win an overseas holiday. Last week the competition went like this:

Presenter: Hey its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game?

Brian: Yeah, sure.
Presenter: O.K., Question 1 – When was the last time you had sex?
Brian: Ha Ha, well, about 8 o’clock this morning.

Presenter: And how long did it go for Brian?
Brian: Hmmmmm …. about 10 minutes.
Presenter:10 minutes? Good one. And where did you do it?
Brian: Ohhhh , I can’t say that.
Presenter: There’s a holiday to Bali at stake here Brian!
Brian: O.K. … O.K. … On the kitchen table.

Presenter:(and others in the room – much laughter). Good one Brian, now is it O.K. for us to call your wife?
Brian: Yeah, alright.

Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you?
Sharelle: Hi. Good thanks.

Presenter: (Explains competition again) We’ve got Brian on the other line, say hello.
Sharelle: Hi Brian.
Brian: Hi Sharelle.

Presenter: Now Sharelle, we’re going to ask you the same three questions we asked Brian and if you give the same answers, you win a trip for two to Bali.

Brian: Just tell the truth Honey.
Sharelle: O.K.

Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex?
Sharelle: Oohhhh, noooooo. I can’t say that on radio.
Brian: Sharelle, it doesn’t matter. I’ve already told them.
Sharelle: O.K. … About 8:00 this morning before Brian went to work.

Presenter: Good, nice start! Next question. How long did it go for Sharelle?
Sharelle: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes.
Co-Presenter: That’s close enough … Brian was just being a gentleman.

Presenter: O.K. Sharelle, final question. Where did you do it?
Sharelle: Oh no I can’t say that. My mum could be listening. No way, no.
Presenter: There’s a trip to Bali on the line here.
Brian: Sharelle, I’ve already told them so it doesn’t matter anyway.. just tell em.

Sharelle: Ohhhh …. alright …. Up the ass!

Radio Silence