The missing song’s from snow white and th 7 dwarfs

First of all I want to thank the firemen in the sept 11th
horrible experence.

And second of all this is a re-write, my old one
didn’t
Make it out of the fresh pile. So come ahead sue me.

-Sorry For The Spelling_

!~~Parody of the weird hi ho song~~!

hi ho hi ho it’s off stealing i go, gonna get me a truck ,and
run over that duck hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho!

hi ho hi ho it’s off to the store i go gonna buy some beer,
it’s over here hi ho hi ho hi ho!

hi ho hi ho it’s off to poo i go ,i gotta crap, my legs just
snap-ed hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho

hi ho hi ho shaving my arm pits i go ,i got a cut, your’e next
mut hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho

hi ho hi ho it’s off to home I go gonna watch tv ,now i gotta pee
hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho

hi ho hi ho its off to school i go let’s learn some stuff, and
kill people who are tuff hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho

hi ho hi ho it’s off to a fight i go with a very big chain, lets
give some pain hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho!

hi ho hi ho it’s off to war i go with a very big gun and ,we’ll
have lots of fun hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho

hi ho hi ho it’s of to work i go with a naked babe on roller
blades hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho

And please vote it’s a click away?

Twas the night before X-mas

Twas the Night before X-mas

T’was the night before christmas- Old Santa was pissed
He cussed out the elves and through down his list
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works
I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year
Instead of thanks Santa what do I hear
The Old lady bitches cause I work late at night
The elves want more money the reindeers all fight

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter

They say I owe taxes-if that ain’t damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money
And the kids these days- they all are the pits
They want the impossible… Those mean litttle shits

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls….Their arms, legs, and heads
I made a ton of yo yo’s No request for them
They want computers and robots…..they think I’m IBM

If you thinks that bad…just picture this
Try holding their pants full of piss
They pull on my nose they grab at my beard
And if I don’t smile the parents think I’m wierd

Flying through the air…dodging the trees
Falling down chimmneys and skinning their knees
I’m quitting this job…there’s just no enjoyment
I’ll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment
There’s no christmas this year…. now you know the reason
I found me a blonde …I’m going south for the season

Ricky the Rooster

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster-one that service all of his many hens and when he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied: ‘I have just the rooster for you. Ricky here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!’ So the farmer took Ricky back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Ricky a little pep talk. ‘Ricky,’ he said, ‘I’m counting on you to do your stuff.’ And without a word he strutted into the hen house. Ricky was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Ricky had finished having his way with each hen. But Ricky didn’t stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house, where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out, ‘Stop, Ricky, you’ll kill yourself.’ But Ricky continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner. The next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Ricky lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Ricky. The farmer walked up to Ricky saying, ‘Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you’ve gone and killed yourself. I warned you my little buddy.’ ‘Shhhhh,’ Ricky whispered, ‘The buzzard’s getting closer

Bush go Boom

3 guys are in an airplane. They have no clue where they
are, so they decide to have a little fun. The first guy throws a
Holy Bible out the window, the second guy throws out a brick,
and the third guy throws out a grenade.
Then, they decide to see how much damage they did. When
they landed, they noticed they were over Washington D.C. at the
time. They see senator Jesse Helms crying, holding the Holy
Bible. The 3 guys asked him what was wrong, and he said “Oh,
this Holy Bible fell on my head and i think god is mad with me.”
Next, they see Colin Powell, crying, holding the brick.
They asked him what was wrong, and he replied “This brick fell
on my head and i think god is mad with me for bombing
Afghanistan.”
Finally, they see George W. Bush laughing his ass off. When
they asked him what was so funny, he said “Oh, I farted and the
White house blew up.”

Star Trek Lightbulb Riddles

Editor’s Note: If you find these funny, heed the advice of William Shattner, “Get a life!”————Q. How many Borg does it take to change a lightbulb? A. All of them ————-Q. How many Cardassians does it take to change a light blub? A. Three, because there are four lights!————Q: How many Cardassians does it take to change a light bulb?A: 4. One to change the light bulb, and one to shoot him and take the credit, two more for disposing the body out an airlock, and 100 credits each to hire them. ————Ed: (Dang, I got the first Cardassian one… shoot me now…)

More Student Bloopers

Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel.

Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent.

At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlics in their hair. The Ides of March murdered Caesar because they thought he was going to be made king. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul.

The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. One of Jacob’s sons, Joseph gave refuse to the Israelites. Finally, the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. He fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

In one of Shakespear’s famous plays, Hamlet rations out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy.

Magna Carta provided that no free men should be hanged twice for the same offense.

The reward to the victor was a coral wreath.

The Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

Oh, God, No

Three clergymen were sitting in a boat, fishing.
“I’m thirsty, �said the first.�I’m going to go get myself a Coke.” So he got
out of the boat, walked across the water, and came back with his Coke.
“Ooh, that looks good, �said the second and got out of the boat. He walked
across the water, got his Coke, and came back.
“You’re right, �said the third.�I think I’ll get one too.” He steps out of the
boat and sinks like a rock.
“Hey, �said the first clergyman to the second, “should we tell him where the
rocks are?”