Q. What do you get when you cross a Pollack and a monkey?
A. Nothing. A monkey is too smart to fuck a Pollack.
Author: admin
BIG, FAT AND JUICY
The cucumber said that when he gets big fat and juicy that they cut him up and toss him into salads.
The pickle said that when he gets big fat and juicy that he gets sliced up and put into jars and they sell him.
The dick said that when he gets big fat and juicy that they put a rubber on his head and put him into a dark room and bangs his head into walls until he throws up and passes out!!
LIZARDS
A LIZARD CAN JUMP UP AND YOU
WOULD NOT OF NOTICED UNTIL YOU CAME BACK FROM THE SKY.
Animals in a Restaurant
There’s these animals in a restaurant. The waiter comes over at the end of the night …
The skunk says ‘Don’t look at me, I haven’t got a scent’
The duck says ‘Just put it on my bill’
The cow says ‘You’ll have to ask one of the udders’
The deer says ‘I had a buck last week and I’m expecting a little doe soon’
The giraffe says ‘Well, I guess the high balls are on me then’
Bar
three men walk into a bar you would think the last one would of seen it
Fatty and Skinny
Fatty and Skinny went to bed,
Fatty rolled over.
Now Skinny is dead!
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
Question and answer blonde joke
Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?A: Perri-air.
Woman vs. Tornado
What does a woman have in common with a tornado?
They scream when they come and they take the house when they leave.
It seems there was this
It seems there was this couple from Minneapolis, Minnesota, who decided
to go to Miami Beach for a few days to thaw out during one particularly
cold winter. The airlines have crazy frequent flyer rules, and the wife
ended up on a flight the day after her husband.
The husband made it down to Florida and arrived at his hotel. Upon getting
to his room, he decided to open his laptop and send his wife back in
Minneapolis an email. Unfortunately, he didn’t notice he had misspelled
his wife’s email address
In South Carolina, a widow had just returned from the funeral of her
husband, a Methodist pastor of many years, who had been called to glory
just a few days earlier.
She decided to check her email because she was expecting to hear from
relatives and friends. Upon reading the first email, she let out a loud
scream, fainted and fell to the floor.
The woman’s son rushed into the room and found his mother on the floor. He
glanced up at the computer screen and saw the following email message:
To My Loving Wife: I’ve just been checked in. Everything has been prepared
for your arrival here tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then.
Your Devoted Husband.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
She’s Mine!
A Border Patrol agent is on duty. He spots two Mexicans and runs
them down. They show him their papers (he thinks they are
phony). He tells them, “O.K. I have a test for you. I want you
to use the words ‘cheese’ and ‘liver’ in a sentence.”
So, the first guy says, “I made a liver and cheese sandwich for
lunch.”
The agent says, “That was good, you can go. What about you?” He
asks the second guy.
He says, “Liver alone. Cheese mine.”
If You Are Unhappy
Once upon a time, there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter.
However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south. In a short time, ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard, almost frozen.
A cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end. But, the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then a large cat came by and, hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds.
The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird and promptly ate him.
The moral of the story:
1. Everyone who craps on you is not necessarily your enemy.
2. Everyone who gets you out of the crap is not necessarily your friend.
3. And, if you’re warm and happy in a pile of crap, keep your mouth shut.
6 Reasons Why It Sucks To Be A Penis
1.Whenever you get excited you get a plastic bag pleaced over
your head and placed in a dark hole.
2.Your neighbor is an ass.
3.Your best friends is a pussy.
4.Wenever your stressed your two friends dissapear to the north.
5.You shrink when wet.
6.One word: ZIPPERS