Una pareja de maricas est� haciendo el aseo de la casa, cuando, de pronto, uno grita:
“�Manuela! �Manuela!”
“�Pero que te pas�! �Qu� paso?”
“�Ay, ay!”
“�Qu� pas�? �Qu� pas�?”
“�Una ara�a! �Una ara�a!”
“�Te pic�?”
“�No, pero me hizo unos ojos!”
Author: admin
Afghani TV
THIS WEEK ON AFGHANI PRIME-TIME TV
Sunday
7 PM – I Dream of Fatima
8 PM – The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show
9 PM – Husseinfeld
10 PM – Mad About Everything
Monday
7 PM – Wheel of Terror
8 PM – Suddenly, Sanctions
9 PM – Allah McBeal
10 PM – Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers
Tuesday
7 PM – The Price is Right if Osama Says Its Right
8 PM – Buffy, the Capitalist Camel Slayer
9 PM – Two Guys, a Girl and a Pita Bread
10 PM – U.S. Military Secrets Revealed
Wednesday
7 PM – Talibantubbies
8 PM – Children are Forbidden to Say the Darndest Things
9 PM – When Northern Alliance Attack
10 PM – Twin Sheiks
Thursday
7 PM – M*U*S*T*A*S*H
8 PM – Little Cave on the Desert
9 PM – Veilwatch
10 PM – Just Shoot Everyone
Friday
7 PM – Kaptain Kabul
8 PM – Jawid Loves Chachi
9 PM – Hanging with Mr. Hijacker
10 PM – Burqua’s Law
Saturday
7 PM – Jihad Joe
8 PM – Everybody Loves Osama
9 PM – This Old Tent
10 PM – No Witness News
What Not To Say in Kansas
The sheriff of the small Kansas town pulled over a Porsche that was doing 75 miles per hour in a 35-mile an hour zone.
The man behind the wheel, a Chicago commodities trader, was steaming. When he was finally brought before the local magistrate, he exploded, “I can’t believe you stopped me. This town must be the asshole of the world!”
The magistrate looked at him and replied, “And you must be what’s passing through.”
Why are blondes like 7-Eleven stores?
Why are blondes like 7-Eleven stores? Open 24 hours a day.
WHAT
What does Marcuz say to Ayla when they wake up in the morning……That was NASTY give me back my ten dollars!!!
You might be a Redneck JEDI if…
You might be a Redneck Jedi if…
===========================================
* You ever heard the phrase, “May the force be with y’all.”
* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
* You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
* The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
* Wookiees are offended by your B.O.
* You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn’t have to wait for a commercial.
* You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.
* Your father has ever said to you, “Shoot, son come on over to the dark side…it’ll be a hoot.”
* You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light up.
* You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
* You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
* You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
* Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
* You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
* You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.
* You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.
* If you hear . . . “Luke, I am your father… and your uncle…”
Help Me Ring the Bell
Walking down the street, a man passes a house and notices a little boy trying to reach the doorbell. No matter how much the little guy stretches, he can’t make it.
The man calls out, “Let me get that for you,” and he bounds onto the porch to ring the bell.
“Thanks, mister,” says the kid. “Now let’s run!”
Do Anything To Pass Exam
A student comes to a young professor’s office hours. She glances
down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly, “I would do
anything to pass this exam.”
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully
into his eyes. “I mean…” she whispers, “…I would
do…anything!!!”
He returns her gaze. “Anything?” “Yes,… Anything!” His voice
turns to a whisper. “Would you…study?”
Good cook
Teacher : “Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?”
Sam : “No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook.”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
A definite problem
One day a young man about the age of 25 was walking along the sidewalk in the park. Then all of a sudden he looks up form hearing the sound of an old man sobbing.”What’s wrong?” said the young man.”Well it’s nothing really.” said the old man.”It has to be something. Tell me about it” said the you man.Well, everyday after I wake up in the morning, me and my wife have wild sex. Then I leave for work” the old man said.”That’s not bad” the young man said.”Well, when I get home from work, my wife has already finished making lunch for me and her. Then after lunch we have more wild sex.” the old man said.”That’s not bad at all. There’s no reason why you should be sobbing.” said the young man.”When we finish making love, I go back to work at my second job. Then i come home and by that time, my wife is finished making supper. Then we eat and have wild sex again through out the night.” the old man said.”If you are having sex all day, then why so glum?” the young man said.Then the old man finally says why he is so glum, “I forgot where I live!”
Dumb Laws in Texas
***** State laws:
When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each
shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the
other has gone. (No, I don’t know how that is possible.)
It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time
while standing.
Law prohibits driving without windshield wipers. You don’t need
the windshields, but you need the wipers.
It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story
of a hotel.
You can’t legally milk someone else’s cow.
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it
contains a formula for making beer at home.
***** City laws:
In a certain town, you must first get a $5 permit before going
barefoot.
It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate
limits of Abilene for the purpose of flirting or mashing.
In Beaumont, college football is banned at Lamar University.
Dallas bans the possession of “realistic dildos”.
In Mesquite, it is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
In San Antonio, it is illegal to piss on the Alamo. (Law passed
after Ozzy Osbourne did it.)
If you catch a cattle thief in Temple, you may legally hang him
on the spot.
Boll Weevil
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.