Yo Mommas so fat the supermaket sign said wet floor and she did
Author: admin
These are supposedly actual signs
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.Sign in a Rome laundry: “Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.Sign in the window of a Swedish furrier: “Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.” Sign on the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: “Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.” Detour sign in Kobe, Japan: “Stop: Drive Sideways.”
What is long, black, and
What is long, black, and smelly?
– The unemployment line.
Osama Bin Laden
What is Osama Bin Laden’s favorite football team?
The New York Jets.
Mommy
ur momma is so fat when she throws up a whole cows comes out
Far away
your mama is so farout you can’t even see her!!!!!
The $50 Bet
A blonde and a redhead are watching the 6 o’clock news one evening. The redhead bets the blonde $50 that the man in the lead story, who is threatening to jump from a 40 story building, will jump.”I’ll take that bet,” the blonde replied.A few minutes later, the newscaster breaks in to report that the man had, indeed, jumped from the building. The redhead, feeling sudden guilt for having bet on such an incident, turns to the blonde and tells her that she does not need to pay the $50.”No, a bet’s a bet,” the blonde replies, “I owe you $50 dollars.”The redhead, feeling even more guilty, replies “No, you don’t understand, I saw the 3:00 edition, so I knew how it was going to turn out.””That’s okay,” the blonde replies, “I saw it earlier too, but I didn’t think he’d do it again.”
The Salvation Army
A drunk went into a telephone booth and dialled at random..”Salvation Army” came the answer.”What do you do?”asked the man.”We save wicked men and women,” came the reply.”Well, save me a wicked woman for Saturday night.”
Lightbulbs and PMS!
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. ONE!!
And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don’t even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn’t be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they’ve been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS!
But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE? NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT’S A WONDER WE HAVEN’T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS…
I’m sorry…what did you ask me?
Pay now
A little girl became restless as the preacher’s sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, “Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by axelwang
Little mermade
Q:what did the little mermade wear
A:an alge bra
Q. What do you call that useless piece of…
Q. What do you call that useless piece of skin around a pussy?
A. A woman.