Knock KnockWho’s there?Desi!Desi who?Desi’gnated hitter!
Author: admin
Cutting You Off
Staggering in from their tenth anniversary dinner, the drunken husband collapsed in a chair and let out an enormous belch.
“That’s it George! I’ve had it this time.” his wife screamed. “I’m cutting you off forever.”
“That’s impossible,” he replied, “you don’t even know where I’m getting it.”
4 new fathers.
Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and proudly announced to the first man, “Congratulations, sir. You’re the father of twins!”
“What a coincidence! I work for the Minnesota Twins Baseball team!”
Later the nurse returned and congratulated the second father on the birth of his triplets.
“Wow! That’s incredible! I work for the 3M Corporation.”
An hour later, the nurse returned to congratulate the third man on the
birth of his quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply, “I don’t believe it! I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!”
After this, everyone turned to the fourth guy who had just fainted. The nurse rushed to his side. As he slowly gained consciousness, they could hear him mutter over and over, “I should never have taken that job at 7-Eleven. I should never have taken that job at 7-Eleven. I should never have taken that job….”
ExtraTerrestrial
Yo mama so fat… she could been in the movie ET, but when she rode a bike across the moon the BITCH CAUSED AN ECLIPSE.
From Mom’s Dictionary……
From Mom’s Dictionary…
- Full Name (noun)
- What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
Yo mama is so ugly
Yo mama so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!
Lettus
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Lettus.
Lettus who?
Let us in it’s cold outside!
Yo mama sooo short…….
Yo mama so short when she got off the bus she yelled to everybody, “please dont spit because i dont know how to swim!!”
Yo wass up people?
hey everyone my name is Jarrah and I am just fuckin around!!
Bloody Hell
A bishop, who was a keen DIY man, was watching a carpenter at work in the house and trying to pick up the odd tip.
But the young carpenter found it a little off-putting and shortly hit his finger with the hammer, whereupon he let out a cry of “bloody hell!”
The bishop tut-tutted and remonstrated, saying he should count to ten and pray for easement.
Unconvinced but chastened, the carpenter continued growing all the more nervous at the bishop’s presence.
Sure enough, disaster struck again as the chisel sliced off the end of his thumb.
Stifling a scream, he looked at the bishop, gritted his teeth and prayed.
Whereupon the piece of thumb suddenly leapt back into place.
“Jesus Christ,” said the carpenter.
“Bloody hell,” said the bishop.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
HUH? oops.
One day 3 guys are captured by 3 canibals. The canibals told them that they had to go into the woods and bring back 100 ping pong balls and they would not eat the one(s) who comes with all 100 pings pong balls.
The first guy is a balck man, They tell him to go into the woods and bring back the ping pong balls they asked for or they will eat him and goes into the woods and comes back 3 months later with only 40 ping pong balls. So the canibals eat him.
The second guy is a white man, They tell him to go into the woods and bring back the ping pong balls they asked for or they will eat him also, and he goes into the woods and comes back a year later with only 60 ping pong balls. So the canibals eat him too.
The third guy is an Asian man and has very bad hearing. They tell him to go into the woods and bring back the ping pong balls they asked for or they will eat him too. He goes into the woods and comes back 3 years later and has two gigantic balls in the sack that they gave him.
The canibals are looking very cerious as they ask him if he got the ping pong balls.
The man replies” PING PONG BALLS! I THOUGHT YOU SAID KING KONG BALLS!!””
“
The wife
The wife says: I’n not upsetThe wife means: Of course I’m upset you moronThe wife says: You’re … so manlyThe wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lotThe wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lightsThe wife means: I have flabby thighs.