Rover

A guy walks into a bar with his dog and says, “I’ll have a Scotch and water and my dog would like a whiskey sour.”
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t allow animals in here.” The dog replies, “Hey, I’m tired of being discriminated against. Just give me a drink.”

The bartender says, “Oh, no, not another ventriloquist with the old talking dog trick. Both of you, get out of here!”

“No, no, no, this isn’t a trick, I promise you,” says the man, “I tell you what, I’ll go for a walk around the block and you talk to Rover here.”

The man leaves and the bartender sees him turn the corner. “Now, can I have my drink.” says the dog.

The bartender is amazed. “Sure you can and it’s on the house! Listen, can you do me a favor? My wife works next door at the cafe. It’ll make her day if you go in and order a cup of coffee. Here’s ten bucks and you can keep the change afterwards.”

“Okay.” says the dog and he takes the ten dollars and leaves.

Ten minutes go by and the dog doesn’t come back. The owner returns and asks where is the dog. So both of them go off to see what happened to the dog. As they approach the cafe, they see Rover going at it hot and heavy with a French poodle in the alley between the bar and cafe. The owner shouts, “Rover! What are you doing! You’ve never done this before!”

The dog shrugged. “Hell, I’ve never had any money before.”

Twas’ the NIght , About Osama Bin Laden

Twas’ the night before payback and all the land,
They’re running like rabbits through Afghanistan,
Osama’s been praying, he down on his knees,
He’s hoping that Allah will hear all his pleas.

He thought if he killed us, that we’d fall and shatter,
But all he did was make us madder,
We ain’t yet forgotten our Marines in Beruit,
We’ll come kick your butt with one heavy boot.

He haven’t forgotten your buddy Saddam,
He hasn’t forgotten the sound of our bomb,
You think those mountains are a good place to hide? they’ll go
down In history as the place you died.

Remember Khadafi and his line of death,
He cam every close to his final breath,
So come & prove it that you are a man,
‘Cause our boys are coming and they have a plan.

Osama I wrote especailly for you,
For air-mail delivery by B-52,
You’ll soon be hearing a thud and a whistle,
Old Glory is coming , attached to a missle.

I will not be sorry to see you go,
‘Cause IT’A RED, WHITE & BLUE THAT IS RUNNING THE SHOW!!!