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Ryan’s wife had recently died and she was being buried. Ryan was sobbing uncontrollably and was being consoled by his friends.
“Don’t worry Ryan, in two or three months you may meet a beautiful lady who will make you happy”
“I know, I know,” says Ryan, “But what am I gonna do tonight?”
You’ve ever worn shorts to a funeral home.You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.You’ve ever been too drunk to fish.
After a long sequence of lovemaking, the doctor glanced adoringly at his lady love, who dozed next to him. Suddenly, he felt a sharp pang of guilt.
“Relax, Howard,” he told himself. “You�re not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients.”
“No,” another inner voice says.., “but, you�re a veterinarian!”
your room is so dusty that when i come in i dissappear
There’s this little Ozark family. Maw, Paw, Junior and Sally.
One day Junior asks, “Paw, whut’s sex?”
Paw sits back, thinks about it, and replies, “Well, Junior, I reckon yore “bout ol ’nuff to find out.
Maw, take off all yer clothes, jump up on the bed, and spread ‘n ’em legs.”
After Maw is undressed and lying on the bed, Paw looks at Junior and says, “You see that there hole on Maw? Well, jist watch ol’ Paw.”
Paw jumps on top of Maw and starts doing her every which way.
About this time, Sally walks in, walks over to Junior and whispers, “Jun…Junior. wh-whut’s that?”
Junior being a man of the world now, looks back at Sally and grins, “That’s whatcha call ‘sex’.”
“You see that there hole on Paw? Jist watch ol’ Junior….”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Player
In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you’ll find they are best in the long run.
Asian Philosophy:
Tis good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown
A Polish couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an
end. The adoption center called and told them that they had a wonderful Russian
baby boy and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so
they each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the forms, the
registration clerk inquired, “What ever possessed you to study Russian?”
The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a Russian baby, and in a year or so
he’ll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.”
wats the difference between micheal jackson & casper?
ones pale and scares kids and the other is a friendly ghost
Jesse Jackson got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head. In sheer panic and fearing he really was turning white and might have to start working for a living, he called his doctor and told him of his problem. The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.
After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Jesse and told him to drink it all. Jesse did and replied, “That tasted like bull shit!” The doctor replied, “It was, Jesse. You were a quart low.”
Bill Clinton on Monica Lewinsky’s deposition: “I didn’t tell her to lie in her
deposition, I said to lie in that position.”
Las 7 etapas de la vida de los hombres estableciendo un parang�n con volcanes mexicanos.
1.- de los 5 a los 12 a�os est�n como el Iztaccihuatl: Completamente dormido.
2.- De los 15 a los 20 como el Paricut�n: En plena erupci�n.
3.- De los 20 a los 25 como el Popocat�petl: Todos quieren escalarlo.
4.- De los 25 a los 35 como el Nevado de Toluca: Fr�o, con poca nieve pero firme.
5.- De los 35 a los 45 como el Pico de Orizaba: A la mejor altura.
6.- De los 45 a los 60 como el Cerro del Tepeyac: Agotado con tantas visitas.
7.- De los 60 en adelante est�n como el Ajusco: Completamente dormido y destruido.