For his final project in a statistics class, a student decided to conduct a
survey. So it wouldn’t be a boring project, he chose to find out peoples’
favorite pastimes.
The teacher required that he sample at least 100 people,so he started out his
project visiting a fairly large apartment building near the university.
He knocked on the first door and a man answered.
“Sir, what is your name?” asked the student
“John.”
“Sir, I’m doing a school study and would like to know what your favorite
pastime is?”
“Watching bubbles in the bath,” came the reply.
He liked the esoterical answer and continued down the hall, until he came to
the next door, when he asked again.
“Sir,what is your name?”
“Jeff.”
“Sir, would you please tell me your favorite pastime?”
“Watching bubbles in the bath,” was the answer.
Quite amused and confused, he went on to ask a good number of people in the
building and and all of them had the same pastime of “watching bubbles in the
bath.”
He left the building and walked across the street where there were several
rows of sorority houses to continue the survey.
At the first house, he knocks and an attractive sorority girl opens the door.
Our surveyor starts again, “What is your name?”
“Bubbles!”
Author: admin
House Painting
One day, a painter found himself short of help and went to the unemployment office to hire someone for the day.
When he arrived, they didn’t have any painters available, but they did have a gynaecologist there. He reluctantly took him along to help.
A couple of weeks later, the painter returned to the unemployment office needing temporary help again. This time there were two painters there, but instead he asked for the gynaecologist again.
The clerk asked, “Why do you want a gynaecologist when we have two professional painters you can take right now?”
He said, “Two weeks ago when I hired the gynaecologist, we arrived at the house and it was locked with nobody home. But I’ll be damned if that gynaecologist didn’t stick his hand through the mail slot and paint the whole house!!”
Dental Joke
Q Is it raining in your mouth?
A Why then are your teeth wearing yellow coats
Gas Money
Yo mama is so stupid that she didn’t have enough money for gas,
so she sold the car for gas money.
It is a poor workman
It is a poor workman who blames his tools.
Kiss it and make it better
Little Johnny had hurt his finger while working on his model airplane. He ran to his mother, who kissed the wound and made it better.On the way to the store a little later, Johnny fell off his bike and scraped his knee. He ran to his mother, who kissed it and made it better.Returning from the store, Johnny ran into the town bully, who kicked him in a very private part of his anatomy. Johnny rushed home.His mother said, “Son, you’re getting more like your father every day!”
yo momma so fat when she wears high heels…
yo momma so fat when she wears high heels the bitch strikes oil
Cierto joven siempre so�� con
Cierto joven siempre so�� con tener una ‘Harley Davidson’. As� que un d�a, habiendo ahorrado suficiente fue a un ‘dealer’ y compr� su moto.
Luego de escogerla, el vendedor le advierte que si la deja afuera mientras llueve, puede oxidarse, as� que le recomienda que siempre tenga un frasco de vaselina a la mano, para untarle a la moto.
Unos meses despu�s, el joven se enamora de una chica y ella lo invita a cenar en su casa para conocer a sus padres. Cuando el joven llega en su moto, antes de entrar ella le advierte que en su familia hay una vieja tradici�n seg�n la cual, al primero que hablara despu�s de la cena le tocaba lavar los platos.
Despu�s de una deliciosa cena, todos contin�an sentados, esperando al primero que rompa el silencio, pues nadie quiere lavar.
Pasan 30 largos minutos y el joven, para acelerar un poco las cosas, toma a la novia y la besa enfrente de todos. �Nadie dice ni una palabra!
Entonces decide tomar medidas extremas. Toma a su novia, la pone sobre la mesa y tiene sexo con ella… �Nadie dice una palabra!
Ahora el hombre est� desesperado, as� que toma a la suegra, y tiene sexo con ella, de forma a�n m�s salvaje que con la novia…
�Pero nadie dice ni una palabra!
Ahora,el joven est� a punto de reventar y no sabe qu� hacer, cuando en la distancia oye unos truenos… Su primer pensamiento es proteger la Harley Davidson. As� que saca del bolsillo la vaselina…
Entonces el padre dice:
“�Est� bien, yo lavo, carajo!”
Defamation of character
A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.
After the trial he asked the judge, Does this mean that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?”
The judge said that was true.
“Does this mean I cannot call a pig, ‘Mrs. Johnson’?” the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig ‘Mrs. Johnson’ with no fear of legal action.
The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said…
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson!”
Redneck Poetry
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Southeast Alabama A&M.
The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word “Timbuktu”.
The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination-Timbuktu.
The audience went wild!!! How, they wondered, could the redneck top that?! The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:
Tim and me, a-huntin’ went.
Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
They was three, we was two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu.
Conversation of a dick and a condom
Q: what did the dick say to the condom?
A:cover me im going in
The Perfect man
a woman found a magic lamp and she rubbed it and a genie appeared. He said “i will grant you one wish.” The woman had a map with her and said “i want the war to end in this part of the Middle East, and for it to end in peace.” The genie looked at the woman and said that, that wish was nearly impossible. The genie said to think of another wish. “Well then, can you give me the perfect man??” The genie just looked at her and said “Which part of the Middle East?”