People today just don’t know how to drive. I read about this eight car crash.
It took place in a dealer’s showroom.
Author: admin
Harrassment
A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can’t stand it any longer! The woman goes into her supervisor’s office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.
The supervisor is puzzled by this and says, “What’s wrong with the co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?”
The woman replies, “He’s a midget!”
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
Ever wondered?
EVER WONDER?
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Submitted by BreeBrown
Edited by Curtis
“Hey, nice tie”
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink.
“Hey, nice tie!” comes out of nowhere. He looks up at the bartender to see if
he had said anything, but since he was on the other side of the bar the man just
ignores it.
“Hey! Nice shirt!” The man looks up but, again, the bartender is engaged
elsewhere.
“Hey! Nice suit!” The man then calls the bartender over and asks him if he
keeps talking to him.
“It’s not me, it’s the complimentary peanuts.”
Blue berry hill
theres two guys and a gurl at school one guy walks into the class room and the teacher says “were where you?”” the boy says “”on top of blue berry hill.”” the other guy walks in and the teacher says “”were where you?”” he says “”on top of blue berry hill.”” then the gurl walks in. The teacher asks “”who are you?”” she says “” i’m blue berry hill>””
“
Solving a dispute
Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, “Oh, look! A nut!” The second squirrel jumped on it and said, “It�s my nut!”The first squirrel said, “That�s not fair! I saw it first!””Well, you may have seen it, but I have it,” argued the second.At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, “You shouldn�t quarrel. Let me resolve this dispute.” The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, “Now, give me the nut.” He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, “See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved.”Then he reached over and said, “And for my fee, I�ll take the meat.”
El argentino no se r�e
El argentino no se r�e a carcajadas… se caga de la risa
El argentino no se emborracha… se pone en pedo
El argentino no te llama por tel�fono… te pega un tubazo
El argentino no tiene un departamento… tiene un bulo
El argentino no te saluda… te dice “que haces, boludo?”
El argentino no se cae… se va a la mierda
El argentino no es esp�a… es un buch�n/bot�n
El argentino no se burla… te bardea
El argentino no te convence… te hace la cabeza
El argentino no se lanza… te tira los galgos
El argentino no te besuquea… te da un par de besos
El argentino no bebe… chupa
El argentino no acaricia… franelea
El argentino no molesta… rompe las pelotas
El argentino no se ba�a… se pega una ducha
El argentino no se alimenta… come como un hijo de puta
El argentino no se enoja… se calienta
El argentino no te golpea… te caga a palos
El argentino no te ordena… te caga a pedos
El argentino no tiene amantes… tiene amigovias
El argentino no sufre diarreas… se caga encima
El argentino no fracasa… se jode
El argentino no sale corriendo… sale cagando
El argentino no se dispersa… se cuelga
El argentino no toma siesta… se tira a dormir un rato
El argentino no tiene problemas… tiene kilombos
El argentino no va rapido… va a los pedos
El argentino no molesta… es un hincha pelotas
El argentino no est� activado… tiene las re pilas
El argentino no te besa… te tranza
El argentino no es listo… es un vivo
El argentino no pide que lo lleven… pide que lo tiren
El argentino no es un tipo alegre… es un copado
El argentino no es bueno… es de primera
El argentino no es un buen amigo… es un amigo de fierro
El argentino no esta aburrido… esta al pedo
El argentino no es un tipo tremendo… es un hijo de puta
El argentino no hace algo mal… le sale para el culo
El argentino no dice la verdad… dice la posta
El argentino no habla claro… te bate la justa
El argentino no tiene “mucho”… tiene un tocaso o una banda
El argentino no se pasa… se re zarpa
El argentino no es cualquier cosa… �EL ARGENTINO ES UNA MASA!
Knock KnockWho’s there?Disaster!Disaster who?Disaster be
Knock KnockWho’s there?Disaster!Disaster who?Disaster be my lucky day!
Knock KnockWho’s there?Fruit!Fruit who?Fruit of
Knock KnockWho’s there?Fruit!Fruit who?Fruit of the loom!
Going Shopping
Your mamma is so big she was triing to get to Wal-Mart, tripped over K-Mart, and went into target!!!
Plant dope
How do you plant dope?
Bury a blonde.
The convicted blonde
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3 girls are charged with murder. The first is a red head. She walks into a room blindfolded, where police officers are lined up pointing guns at her. They say ready……aim…….- The redhead points and screams TORNADO!! They all look and she runs away.
The second girl to walk in is a burnette. She is also blindfolded. The police officers hold up their guns and say ready……aim…- the burnette points and yells TIDAL WAVE!!! They all look and she runs away.
The last girl is a blonde. She walks in blindfolded, and the officers raise their guns and say ready…….aim…..- The blonde points and yells FIRE!!!!
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