Author: admin

An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet. He says, ”Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don’t do wonders cleaning this up, I’ll eat every chunk of it.” She turns to him with a smirk and says, ”You want ketchup on that?” The salesman says, ”Why do you ask?” She says, ”We just moved in and we haven’t got the electricity turned on yet.”

Fredericks of Hollywood has filed for bankruptcy. They’ve been in business for 40 years–and they can’t afford to buy a second roll of satin fabric.

There were 2 old-maid sisters… both virgins. It’s Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, “I’m not going to die a virgin… I’m going out and I’m not coming home ’til I’ve been laid!!”Betty says, “Well, make sure you’re home by 10 so I don’t worry about you.”10 o’clock rolls around and there’s no sign of Gladys… 11 o’clock… 12 o’clock… Finally about 15 after 1:00 AM the front door flies open. In runs Gladys… straight to the bathroom. Betty goes and knocks on the door, “Are you okay, Gladys?” No answer, so she opens the door and there sits Gladys with her panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck between her legs looking at herself. “What is it, Gladys? What’s wrong?” asks Betty. “Betty, it was 8 inches long when it went in… and 4 when it came out. When I find the other half you’re gonna have the time of your life!!!”