Author: admin

What does your profession say about you?

1. MARKETING – You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to
avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and
socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least
compatible with Sales.

2. SALES – Laziest of all signs, often referred to as “marketing without a
degree.” You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and
begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you
can “concentrate on the big picture.” You seek admiration for your golf game
throughout your life.

3. TECHNOLOGY – Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are
instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace.
Often even YOU don’t understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell.
It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.

4. ENGINEERING – One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is
said that ninety percent of all Personal Ads are placed by engineers. You can be
happy with yourself; your office is full of all the latest “ergo dynamic”
gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your “carpal tunnel
syndrome.”

5. ACCOUNTING – The only other sign that studied in school. You
are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the
organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of
rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.

6. HUMAN RESOURCES – Ironically, given your access to confidential
information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly
the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to
return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch AND then
mail a letter.

7. MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT – Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless,
you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable
to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of
meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other “Middle
Managers” as everyone in you social circle is a “Middle Manager.”

8. SENIOR MANAGEMENT – (See above – Same sign, different title)

9. CUSTOMER SERVICE – Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride
from taking your own life. As children very few of you asked your parents for a
little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play
“Customer Service.” Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to
sleep with your manager.

10. CONSULTANT – Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid
revealing your utter lack of experience. You have convinced yourself that your
“skills” are in demand and that you could get a higher paying job with any other
organization in a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity contemplating these
career opportunities without ever taking direct action.

11. RECRUITER, “HEADHUNTER” – As a “person” that profits from the success of
others, you are disdained by most people who actually work for a living. Paid on
commission and susceptible to alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart attacks
correspond directly with fluctuations in the stock market.

12. PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO – You are brilliant or lucky. Your inability to
figure out complex systems such as the fax machine suggest the latter.

13. GOVERNMENT WORKER – Paid to take days off. Government workers are genius
inventors, like the invention of new Holidays. They usually suffer from deep
depression or anxiety and usually commit serious crimes while on the job… Thus
the term “GO POSTAL”

Q: How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, the old bulb is just suffering from a cold.

Estaba un viejo turco agonizando:

“Mujer, �est�s aqu�?”

“S�, Ahmed”, contesta la mujer

“Hijo, �est�s aqu�?”

“S�, padre”, contesta afligido.

“Hija, �est�s aqu�?”

“S�”.

“Entonces, �qui�n putas est� cuidando el negocio?”

What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal.