A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.”I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.” When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?” The blonde nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor. “No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.
Author: admin
La muchacha llorando llega donde
La muchacha llorando llega donde su pap�. El se�or todo angustiado le pregunta la raz�n de sus l�grimas.
“�Ay, pap�, es que en el cine dijeron que cuando uno se muere se pone tieso”.
“S�, hija, �y qu� hay con eso?”
“Es que mi novio se est� muriendo por partes”.
Yo moma so stupid
yo momma so stupid i told her to go get me a color t.v and she said “what color”
Yo mama is so old
Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
The Cab Driver Goes to Heaven
A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter,
who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon reading the entry for the cabbie, St.
Peter invites him to pick up a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into
Heaven.
A preacher is next in line behind the cabby and has been watching
these proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon
scanning the preacher’s entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and
says, “Okay, we’ll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff.”
The preacher is astonished and replies, “But I am a man of the cloth. You gave
that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a
cabbie.”
St. Peter responded matter-of-factly: “this is heaven and, up here,
we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabbie
drove his taxi, people prayed.”
Q: How many programmers
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: The change is 90% complete.
The sun goes down just
The sun goes down just when you need it the most.
What did the Dick say to the Condom…..
What did the Dick say to the Condom?
Cover me im going in!!!
Elephants
why do elephants have big ears? noddy wouldnt pay the ransom
Yo mama so fat…
yo mama so fat that when she goes to the bathroom she has to wipe her ass with a stingray.
Real TV Promotions
ABC-TV TO ADVERTISE ON FRUITGet ready for ABC’s ’98-’99 promo campaign: ‘We Love TV,’ coming soon to bananas and grocery stores near you! Slapping stickers on fruit is the latest turn in the TV Wars…’We are going to be the champions of television,’ announced Alan Cohen, ABC’s executive vp for marketing, during a news conference on Wednesday. Cohen went for laugh track, highlighting new ABC slogans: ‘Don’t just sit there. OK, just sit there’ ‘Without a TV, how would you know where to put the sofa?”Hello? It’s free’ ‘Before TV, two world wars. After TV, zero’ ‘You’re breathing. We’re broadcasting. Let’s get together”TV, so good they named a frozen meal after it”If TV’s so bad for you, why is there one in every hospital room?’ As ratings and shares fall, as audiences vanish, who can blame the silliness.
Can I buy that T.V.?
a blonde walks into a store. she sees a tv on sale. she asks the guy who works there…” can i buy that T.V.?” he said “no” “Why not?” “because you are a Blonde” so she walks out. The next day she came into the store with brown hair. “can i but that T.V.” “no” he said again ” Why not?” “your a blonde!” he said so she walks out. The next day she comes in as a black guy. “Can i buy that T.V.?