Author: admin

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville wakes up
early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the
townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families,
etc.

Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears! Everyone starts screaming and
running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined
efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate.

Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sit
calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy
is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit.

Satan walks up to the man and says, “Hey, don’t you know who I am?”

The man says, “Yep, sure do.”

Satan says, “Well, aren’t you afraid of me?”

The man says, “Nope, sure ain’t.”

Satan, perturbed, says, “And why aren’t you afraid of me?”

“Well, I’ve been married to your sister for 25 years.”

Two storks on a nest: a father stork and baby stork. Baby is crying and crying, and father stork is trying to calm him. “Don’t worry, son. Your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.”

The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job. “Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he’s bringing joy to new mummies and daddies.”

A few days later. The stork parents are desperate, their son is gone from the nest all night! Finally, short before dawn, he returns and the parents ask their son where he had been all night.

Says the baby stork: “Aww, just scaring the heck out of college kids!”

Submitted by Calamjo

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it.”This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”The first blonde answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture shows his PROFILE.”Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it’s a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?”Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”He quickly adds “…think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “Hmmmm…the suspect wears contact lenses.”The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. “Well, that’s an interesting answer…wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.”He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. “Wow! I can’t believe it…it’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?””That’s easy,” the blonde replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.”

Un hombre se va del pueblo a trabajar a Alemania. Cuando lleva cuatro a�os trabajando y se hace rico, se compra un Mercedes Benz y piensa: “ahora s� que puedo volver al pueblo”.

Va el hombre con su Mercedes subiendo la cuesta del pueblo y se le pincha una rueda.

Sale el hombre a cambiar la rueda, y pasa por su lado un vecino del pueblo que le dice: “hombre Paco, cu�nto tiempo sin verte �qu� est�is haciendo?”

“Pues mira, aqu� quit�ndole la rueda al Mercedes”.

Y le dice el otro: “pues yo le voy a quitar el radiocassette, de todas maneras no se va a enterar nadie”.